Out-Dated

9.

I came over the next week exhausted and frustrated from fighting with my dad and overwhelmed with my thoughts and feelings. I used to just get in my car and drive until My head was dizzy, but now Spence was my solution to everything. My antidote against life and my problems.

I walked in and immediately he knew something wasn't right. He looked concerned as he observed me with messy hair a mug of coffee in his hand. I slumped on the floor and just started crying, clutching my stomach in my hand. He came over quietly and sat at the edge of the couch, taking my hand in his and grazing softly with his fingers. We just sat there for a while in silence that was occasionally interrupted by my sobs.

"C'mon hun." He said quietly and helped me off the floor. He guided me to the bathroom with the tub and turned on the water. I watched him as he did so with wet eyes and hair stuck to my face. He turned back to me and smiled sweetly. His fingers gently tugged and the hem of my shirt and he lifted it over my head. I felt like a child being helped out of their clothes, and honestly at this point, I wasn't complaining.

He took my hand and guided me into the comforting water that blanketed me with warmth. I breathed deeply trying to relax my body as he held my hand. I leaned my head back against the cold white tile and opened my eyes. 

   "Will you read to me?" I whispered, pointing to the stack of books in the corner.

   He cracked a small smile. "Ok." And brought one over.

   "Learning to love." He read. We glanced at each other at the irony. He continued to hold my hand as he read love poems and I listened and watched in admiration.

     As I looked at him I realized I loved him. I don't know how or in what way. As a friend, as a soulmate, as a lover, or as my person. I just knew I loved who he was. I loved how he treated me. And I didn't know if I'd love him tomorrow. I didn't know if I would love him when the sun came up and the house was illuminated with a new light. But I knew, without out a doubt in my mind, that right in that moment, I loved him.