Out-Dated

15.

        I laid next to him in bed. He had drifted off into a carefree sleep an hour ago but I was wide awake. This was our last night, I thought. I was sure of it.

    I swirled my fingers through his soft hair and recorded the feeling in my mind. I sat up halfway and grazed my hand over his cheek. I leaned down and gently kissed his lips. The tickle woke him and he squinted his sleepy eyes at me as he propped himself up on his elbows.

   "What-" he whispered before I pressed my lips to his.

    His tired body responded, pulling me on top of him. I took it slowly, enjoying every moment and making sure he did too. I wanted him to remember everything we did together. I wanted him to remember my moans and my singing in the car. I wanted him to remember the way I tugged on his sleeve and the way my lips looked after I had chugged down too much red wine. I wanted him to remember what made me cry and what made me angry. I wanted him to remember my hair blowing in the wind on long drives and the way my perfume decorated the air in his apartment. I wanted him to remember it all.

    And I knew he would. After all he was Spencer. The one who caught every detail with his observant eye and processed it with his thoughtful mind. He knew me like no other. He seemed to know everyone that way.

    Between sweet, passionate kisses he pulled away. His eyes were fluttering shut. "What's wrong?" He whispered.

    "Huh?" I asked caught off guard.

    He looked at me with glossy eyes.

    "You're leaving." He said not as a question but simply as a statement.

   I wasn't sure what to say. I thought my plan had gone on unsuspected.

   "Why do you say that?" I asked, sitting with my knees folded.

   "I just know it." His voice cracked softly. "I just- know you."

    I glanced away with guilty eyes and rubbed the goosebumps on my arm.

   "Don't believe yourself Ella. You're wrong. You can choose to stay." He said firmly to me.

   "I don't want to hurt you." I fought tears.

    "Then don't leave." He insisted.

    "You deserve better." I looked away.

     "I think I deserve you." He spoke.

     "That's where you're wrong, Spence. No one deserves me." I pulled the sheets back and stepped out of bed.

     "Ella!" He ran after me.

    "I'll go with you. Wherever you want. Anywhere." He said frantically.

    I held his face in my hand and pulled it down to mine, giving him one last kiss. "I'll come back one day." I whispered and turned to head for the door.

     "Wait." He said and I turned around.

     "If you're gonna leave, take this." He walked over to his desk, picked up a folded piece of notebook paper, and handed it to me.

    I looked at it and couldn't help but smile.

    "Thank you, Spence. For everything. For being you." I said. And with that, I walked out the door.