Collection of the Best Jokes Ever

Insults #3

What's that ugly thing growing out of your neck... Oh... It's your head...

There are some stupid people in this world. You just helped me realize it.

So, a thought crossed your mind? Must have been a long and lonely journey.

If you had another brain cell it would be lonely.

Oh I'm sorry, how many times did your parents drop you when you were a baby?

You're so ugly, when you got robbed, the robbers made you wear their masks.

Don't hate me because I'm beautiful hate me because your boyfriend thinks so.

If my dog had your face, I would shave his butt and make him walk backwards.

Your house is so nasty, I tripped over a rat, and a cockroach stole my wallet.

I wish you no harm, but it would have been much better if you had never lived.

Do you ever wonder what life would be like if you'd had enough oxygen at birth?

I'm sorry, talking to you seems as appealing as playing leapfrog with unicorns.

You're so ugly, they call you the exterminator, because you kill bugs on sight.

You must have a very low opinion of people if you think they are your equals.

Roses are red violets are blue, God made me pretty, what the hell happen to you?

If you didn't have feet you wouldn't wear shoes.....then why do you wear a bra??!

You didn't fall out of the stupid tree. You were dragged through dumb-ass forest.

Your ears are so big when you stand on a mountain they look like trophy handles.

How do you keep an idiot in suspense?
Leave a message and I'll get back to you...

It's kinda sad watching you attempt to fit your entire vocabulary into a sentence.

You may not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away!

I'm not here right now so cry me a river, build yourself a bridge, and GET OVER IT!!!

Hey- I am away from my computer but in the meantime, why don't you go play in traffic?!

Oh dear! Looks like you fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down!

How about a little less questions and a little more shut the hell up?

Hmm...I don't know what your problem is...but I'm going to bet it's really hard to pronounce...

You're not exactly bad looking. There's just one little problem between your ears – your face!

You're so ugly, your mother had to tie a steak around your neck to get the dog to play with you!

You so ugly when you were born the doctor threw you out the window and the window threw you back!

Hey, here's a hint. If i don't answer you the first 25 times, what makes you think the next 25 will work?

If you're gonna act like a dick you should wear a condom on your head so you can at least look like one.

When you were born you were so ugly that instead of slapping you, the doctor slapped your mom!

You occasionally stumble over the truth, but you quickly pick yourself up and carry on as if nothing happened.

You must be the arithmetic man; you add trouble, subtract pleasure, divide attention, and multiply ignorance.