Chapter 71: FOR BREAKING YOUR HEART

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Death held him tight. The light was fading. Alex was slowly losing his grip on reality. It wasn't long before the ambulance arrived. He was still conscious when they strapped him down and wheeled him into the back of the vehicle. The pain in his gut swelled as he watched Norma take the place beside her son, wrapping her arms around him protectively. Alex couldn't believe it—he was jealous of an eighteen-year-old kid. He fought to roll his eyes, wincing at the pain rushing through him.

He couldn't fight his disappointment when they closed the door without her. The whole situation left him feeling a bit pathetic. He shouldn't expect her to want to come with him. She had a son to take care of—the one who just shot him. He couldn't blame her for choosing his side. He was her son. Alex groaned, meeting the eyes of the EMT sitting beside him.

"You're gonna be all right," she told him, offering a pleasant smile. He appreciated her enthusiasm, but he didn't care much for bullshit.

The hospital was colder than he remembered...and brighter. Alex grimaced, glancing at the monitor next to him. The constant beeping sound would drive him to insanity. ...Perhaps it was for the best. It was sad how many stupid mistakes led him here. And each time he chose to mull over his regrets. He had so many of them—it was slightly tragic.

He turned back to the ceiling, sighing deeply. He hated it here. He needed to be in control, but his weakness overpowered him. His loneliness had returned, and the darkness enclosed upon him. He couldn't fight off the bad thoughts circling his mind. He had already lost.

The sound of shuffling near the doorway caught his attention. His heart leapt at the anticipation of a visitor. But his disappointment overtook him when it wasn't the blonde he'd come to love. The nurse came in to change his IV, smiling at him sweetly. "How are you feeling?"

Bitter. Regretful. "Fine," he muttered, closing his eyes. Sleep would be nice. He knew it wouldn't come though. He had been an insomniac for a majority of his life. His father's fault. His mother's cry for help kept him awake at night. He could still hear it if he kept himself awake long enough. That's what the scotch was for...that and Norma.

"You have any family you'd like me to call?"

Alex glanced up at the woman standing beside him, shaking his head the best he could. "No." There was nobody to call. One of his many regrets. He often wished he had settled down. But with his career, he didn't want to put anyone through the anxiety he felt with Norma. He couldn't stand the thought of losing her. That's what pained him the most. After his mother's death, he vowed to never love anyone ever again. And he never did come close...not until she came into town.

"It's hard, isn't it?" the woman stated, fiddling the equipment next to her. "Being alone, I mean."

Alex closed his eyes. He knew where this was going, and he didn't care for random company so he laid back and wished her away. The medication she gave him was beginning to kick in, drifting him off to sleep.

"Daddy!" a little girl called out, rushing towards him as he stepped inside the house. "You're home."

Alex knelt down, wrapping his arms around the girl and pulling her tightly to him. His heart warmed at the feeling of his child safe in his arms. He was whole again. "Yeah, I'm home," he chuckled.

"Don't you ever leave again!" she scolded.

A smile crept cross his face as he smoothed her hair, placing a gentle kiss on her forehead. "I won't. I promise."

"You're home early," a familiar voice called from the kitchen doorway.

Alex's heart dropped as he glanced up at the woman, rising to his feet cautiously. "Sally." Her ghost would haunt him to his dying day. Or maybe he was already dead and she was welcoming him home. He couldn't take his eyes off her. The shock of seeing her again had paralyzed him.

"You weren't supposed to be home until Tuesday," she reminded him, retreating into the kitchen. "Not that I'm not glad you're here."

His eyes fell to the daughter standing before him. "I'll be right back," he whispered, a smile forming on his face as he made his way to the kitchen. "Sally." He leaned against the doorframe, watching her dance around the kitchen. He couldn't believe she was there with him. Alex never got second chances.

She turned around the face him, her expression unmoved. She didn't seem as happy to see him as she pretended to be. The tension in the air stabbed him in the gut. He was slowly bleeding out. Her sudden movement caught his attention, his eyes now noticing the papers she had been holding. She stiffened at his gaze. "I know about her, Alex."

He furrowed his brow. "I don't know what you're talking about."

She rolled her eyes at him, slamming the papers down on the table. "Just sign the papers and go." His heart ached as he took a step closer to her, reaching for her arms as she pushed away...the anger in her eyes becoming more apparent. "I know about the blonde you've been screwing," she whimpered, her hand coming up to stop the snot from seeping out.

Norma. His heart bruised.

The woman brought her gaze back to him, daring him. "I don't ever want to see you again." She wouldn't.

"Sal—"

But it was too late. The scene he witnessed replayed before him. She fell to her knees, clutching her chest as the blood began to spread. "Alex," she called to him. But he didn't move. He couldn't.

"Alex," Norma whispered. "Are you awake?" Her gentle touch brought him back to life. He could hear her sigh as he stirred from his sleep. Her eyes were cloudy with tears. "Alex, I'm so sorry."

He scrunched his face. "It's not your fault." It was odd being with her now. There was a wall between them that Alex would never be able to tear down. It was Norman. There was nothing Alex could do. He slipped out of her grasp, causing her to sit up from the bed. The pain returned as he watched the uncertainty creep across her face. "Where's Norman?" As much as Alex wanted to believe that she came to visit him, he knew she came for Norman. Norman always came first.

Her eyes fluttered around the room. "He's at home."

Alex sighed, reaching for the remote beside his bed. He thought about calling the nurse and having Norma dragged out but decided against it. He didn't need an angry Norma on his case.

She rolled her eyes at his actions. "Alex, don't start." He shot her a look, sending her spiraling down. "You know, that woman told him about us. She was no good from the start. I don't even know why you were with her." Her eyes searched his expression, his face falling into its usual state. "Norman's fine," she added, provoking him though she knew it'd never work. "I'm trying, okay?"

"Are you?" he snapped, his eyes wounding her. "He shot me, Norma. And he would have shot you had I not protected you."

"Lower your voice," she hissed, her head popping out the door to check for eavesdroppers. Satisfied, she pressed the door closed and made her way to his bedside. "I'm gonna get him help. I'll drive him to therapy if I have to. I just...I need more time. Please."

Alex watched her, his heart falling apart. It was hard to sympathize with her when lives were at stake. His eyes fell from her gaze. "I just shot and killed an innocent woman. A woman I once loved and cared for. What am I going to tell people when I get outta here?" She seemed surprised by the tears welling in his eyes. Normally he'd return to his stoic state when things got too emotional, but the aftermath of everything took a larger toll on him than he'd expected. "My job is on the line here. I don't have anything else to fall back on. If I die tomorrow...my life will have meant nothing. No one will remember me."

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