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Epilogue - Liv: 2010

Epilogue - Liv : 2010

Libby,

Big things often have small beginnings, but you and I? We were at the top of the mountain from the very start.

We met in the fourth grade, our parents introducing us at a house party of yours after our move-in. I hated you so much, but you persisted. I thought you were annoying and too happy. But when you found out about some pesky bullies of mine when I first came to school, you were there. You were always there. Thank you for persisting, you little shit.

This time last year... everything was so different. We were fifteen and naive and never have felt heartbreak before. Who knew cancer would kick our butts into reality?

When I got sick, you were there again - right by my side. You would hold me in your arms as I cried about things that don't matter anymore, and play cards with me until we both fell asleep.

Remember how I told you that I want you to find your first love because I never will? I'm admitting that I lied. You're my first love, Lib. I love you. Always have, and even when I'm gone, I always will. You're my best friend, and there's nothing I can ever do to pay back this debt.

It's funny how you never forget your first love though, no matter how much you want to. It'll dull the memories, you'll think - make them not as painful. It hurts your heart to think about how you haven't seen them in so long (or in my case, how you won't see them ever again).

But I want you to know why I'm writing this letter: You can let go.

I want you to know how serious I am about this.

Don't miss me.

Don't. If you miss me, you won't live. If you miss me, there's no reason for me to leave in the first place.

You will find greatness after I leave; you will find a reason to continue on without me. You will find your first love and never want to forget about them, and to be plain, you don't have to. You don't have to let go of them like I have to let go of you. Live for me. Be my breath of fresh air.

I love you. You will forever be my first love.

Now go find yours.

Love,

Your #1 Fan