Don't Forget

9. Entirely Unexpected

What was I thinking? "Idiot," I mumbled as I slapped my hand against my forehead. "Idiot, idiot, idiot!" My head slammed onto the door, and I kept doing it. The noise attracted Maion, who popped out of the bathroom.

"Amy, what in the world are you do—." Her words stopped short as soon as she saw me: sitting on the floor, arms holding my legs to my chest as I knocked my head against the door. I was mumbling to myself and shivering.

The angel rushed over to me and knelt beside me. She grabbed an arm and tore it from its hold around my legs. She squeezed my hand, asking, "Amy, what's wrong? What happened?"

I shut my eyes, trying to escape from my reality that had just turned into a nightmare because I decided to be an idiot. Quivering again, I whispered, "I pushed him."

Her beautiful face twisted in confusion. "Who?"

When I opened my eyes, the look there must have been answer enough.

"Shit," she breathed. "You didn't?"

I managed a single nod.

Maion fell back and threaded her fingers in her hair. "Goddammit, Amy," she cursed, making me wince. "You don't just push Shar Evanescent! That's a serious blow to his ego. You know how prideful that guy is!"

I shrunk back from her rising voice.

She forced out a loud, fast breath. "I wouldn't be surprised if you were on his shit list. And, Amy, we can't save you from him! You've seen him, haven't you? He's built like a goddamn rock."

My eyes lowered and I stared at the floor. I knew what I had done was stupid, but Maion was making me feel like an idiot. I felt the tears build in my eyes.

Her gaze bored into me. "Do you think he's a puppy, Amy? Do you think he's cuddly and sweet and if you push him, he'll roll over so you can pet his tummy?"

Finally, the tears spilled over. In a rattling voice, I whispered, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." And I wasn't sure if I was apologizing to Maion or to Shar.

The anger in her face began to fade as she watched me cry silently. With a sigh, she reached out and brushed the tears from my face. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell like that. I just—I'm frustrated," she admitted, tone softer now. "I'm frustrated because if Shar does decide to come after you, I don't think I could stop him. I'm frustrated with me, not you."

As soon as she stopped talking, my sob grew louder, and I collapsed in her arms. She held me as I cried out my fears and regrets. The tears didn't stop tomorrow from coming, though.

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Nightmares played out behind my eyelids. But the images flitting through my mind were more than just nightmares—they were memories. Feathers drenched in blood, sweeping along a hickory floor; cries of hysteria; trembling figures; a pair of black eyes staring down at me, almost smiling.

It had been a while since I'd been stirred awake from the memory of the angel who lost his wings freshman year. I wondered why it was coming back to me now.

My nightmare had woken me up an hour before my alarm usually went off. Aware that sleep was a hopeless case at this point, I turned off my alarm and slipped into the shower.

The warm water took away the frightening images replaying in my head. It soothed my nerves and relaxed my muscles. By the time I finished my shower, the nightmare was forgotten and I was ready for the day—as ready as I could be.