To Break Her Heart

Chapter 19 ~ "You do say a lot of stupid shit, don't you?"

Chapter 19: "You do say a lot of stupid shit, don't you?"

I've been trying really hard to not hate Dad, but lately, he's not been giving me much leverage in that endeavour.

He's never acted like a father to me. We've never been to any father-daughter dances, never had a day to ourselves, never even hung out before. I can barely have a conversation with him and I highly doubt that he even knows my middle name.

And now he does this disappearing act on us. When Mum needs him the most, he decides to run away on a "business trip" with his tail between his bloody legs. I couldn't believe that was the man my mum had fallen for.

He was being a complete and utter twat, and that's saying something considering his normal behaviour.

"Mum, it's alright, he'll be back soon," I tried to soothe her again the next morning.

She was curled up on the couch with her favourite pregnancy food: ice-cream with sriracha sauce. Don't even ask me how she discovered that. Plus, I wasn't even sure why she was eating it because I don't think she's allowed spicy food in her second trimester.

But she used the hot sauce as an excuse for her teary eyes when I know that it's really about Dad.

She looks at me, blinking rapidly, her growing belly resting uncomfortably on her knees as she curled into a weirdly shaped ball. "He wasn't there for your birth, darling. What if I never see him again? What if he's just left me?"

I clenched my jaw and looked away from her heartbroken face. I hated when my mum was like this. She was such a strong woman, but to have all this shite thrown at her? I could easily see her caving under all the stress. "If he doesn't come by the time your water breaks, then I don't know why you're upset. At least you know he's an ass now instead of having hope."

"Jordan! That is your father you're talking about!" she scolded.

I refused to look at what I expected to be a reproachful look, because I might apologise for something I completely meant. "Fathers can be asses too, Mum. They're not God," I responded stiffly.

"But don't call him that! You should know better, Jordan."

My expression cooled at her words, appearing as it did whenever I was murderously angry. But not at Mum, just at her words, the way she was defending him when he'd hurt her in the worst way possible. "And he should know better than to leave you alone with only a teenage girl to take care of you."

She knew how I got when I was cross, and to say I was cross now was an understatement. She could tell, because she even let go of her bowl of disgusting ice-cream in favour of rubbing my shoulder. "Oh darling," she said mournfully. "Can't you see it from his point of view? He's losing his wife and has to take care of a baby at his age, don't you see?"

"If he was supportive instead of being such a fucking git, I'd gladly walk in his shoes. But I'm losing my mum, he's not the only person who gets to be upset! Why do I have to be the strong one? Isn't that the parents' job?"

"Jordan-"

"I'm going to school, I'm almost late," I interrupted swiftly. Before she could call me back and scold me for my vulgarity, I grabbed my bag and rushed out the door.

When I noticed the driveway was empty and my keys weren't in my backpack, I cursed out loud. Of course the fucker had taken my car instead of his own. Goddammit. Just when I finally get my license, this has to happen. Brilliant.