My True Loves

This break up was unavoidable

Because love from only one side is not enough. There should be Two in a relationship who love each other, otherwise it can't survive... And only My love to her lasted till the end. Mallory's love to me burnt out weeks before our break up because Billy stole her heart! :( .. You may ask me 'What kind of a Dummy you are if you were not fighting for this love?' 

The answer is: I Was Fighting - but I Lost The Final Battle! :( 

I really did Everything I could! :(  - Everything that was Possible to do! :/ but it turned out to be 'Not Enough this time :( 

You can ask any of My Two Best Female Friends: Lily_Ikidney or LexiNicoleVirgo1998 cause they know the best how much I loved Mallory and how much I was ready to do for her. ( She really didn't have a reason to be jealous about Any of them or about my other female friends because I loved Only Her! 😍 )

Mallory wasn't a Supergirl...

... She was the most sensitive and vulnerable person I've ever known in my life! (& those who knew her will most probably agree with me). But at the beginning of our relationship I found it cute - and I was ready to Protect Her Against The Big Bad World cause she awoke an endless amount of protectiveness in me: 

Then we were really happy together. We were both deeply in love, trusting each other and literally couldn't live longer than a day without each other. And if she was too busy to talk to me for that one day, we were both missing each other so really much that we could feel that longing physically! My stomach was always refusing to eat as much as usual when I was missing her for that one day and my soul could feel some pain. But I felt always as good as new when I talked with her again the next day. It was when our relationship was still as healthy as in this 'Healthy Relationship Wheel': 

Our relationship lasted too short to fulfill all the points listed in this 'Wheel' ( there was no economic partnership or parenting yet - cause it was too early for that ) but most of those points were already fulfilled: So at the beginning there was Fairness and Non Threatening Behaviour, there was Respect, Trust & Support, Honesty & Shared Responsibility - so Everything that should be present in a good relationship :) 😍 ...

... But it soon started to turn unhealthy, and then it was much closer to this Torn Apart Heart model: 

... Cause as I told you, it started with her unexplained Jealousy, then she wanted to totatlly Control me, and she behaved as if she Stopped Trusting Me ( so there was Mistrust ). She started to Lie to me & push me away so I felt Lonely then, she also was trying to Manipulate, and she was filled with Anger too often and also without any logical reason, she had a very Low Self Esteem ( I was trying to help her boost her self esteem for her own good - but she never listend to what I was saying ). I could feel Pressure, there appeared Anxiety, Deception and Fear. And I started to be Neglected by her - so almost all the points from this second model were fulfilled by her then. 

And at the end we had a Conflict that led what was left from our relationship to the final End! :( 

... And then I could honestly say that I would rather expect the beginning of Zombie Apocalypse than that! :/  ... - But her love to me was already Dead ( Yes, as dead as 'Dead Silence' ) and there was nothing to be saved. 

...Yes, I finally understood that. My First True Love didn't love me anymore and it was Impossible to bring her love back cause everything I was doing started to be 'boring' or annoying for her, although she liked it not long before and my all attempts and efforts failed... So there was nothing to fight for anymore! :( ...Whatever I would do - was wrong. Because I felt unwanted already & she loved someone else and there was nothing to be done about that... That's why I had to break up with her.

( Congratulations, Billy! - You Won! )

( You can be proud of Yourself... )

( You stole My First True Love's Heart! ) 

( And I don't even know when & how you did that! :/ )