Stupid Fangirl Problems

Roast Yourself

Okay, I wanted to try the roast yourself challenge! At the end of this chapter I will be tagging other Wattpaders I want to see roast themselves. Okay, let's get on with it.

Hey there, my readers,

It's me, Phoenix-Chan.

And I'm doing this challenge,

Just because I can.

When I thought of this,

I said, "Oh yeah, sure,"

Since I know I'll get reads,

So let's get down to work.

First off, I always say that I'm not girly,

When I love to dress up,

And make my hair curly.

But, I don't wear make-up,

Even though I probably should,

Since my face is so oily,

I'd be doing us all good.

And then, I turn around and say,

"I'm smarter than you,

So we're doing this my way,"

My school even put me,

In all honors,

But, wait, Imma blonde,

So they must be bonkers.

I like to call myself an artist,

When I can hardly draw,

Quitting would be the smartest,

But I won't give up at all.

'Cause Imma persistent little screw-up.

Who gets what I want,

By manipulating idiots,

Who think they know it all.

And, maybe I have some issues,

I hear voices in my head,

And I slice at my tissue.

But, Imma a middle-class white-girl,

So it must be fine,

Just call me an attention whore,

Since all I do is whine.

I'm short and slow,

So to make it up,

I get really, really mouthy,

And I act like I am tough.

My family is German,

So my parents are always strict,

And because of their parenting,

I am a little bish.

Okay, how was that?

I challenge the following people to see if they can do as well as me:

FrUk_over_UsUk

Sail_All_the_Ships

iismoljackii

tenthdoctorgirl

generallyawkward

DippersFlowercrown

PUMPKINJUSTICE