More Than This - n.r.

Chapter 13

Honestly, I didn't know what I was missing until Nick kissed me. There really is a moment of clarity and sitting there in the hallway of the school that was once safe with a boy who turned out to be everything I needed was my moment.

Things would change now. They had to. There was no way Nick could kiss me and then let things go back to the way they were. This was a guaranteed game changer and I didn't realize how much I wanted one until it came.

The tile floor was cold and the wall was hurting my back but I didn't care because here I was, kissing Nick, after almost 2 years of knowing each other and suffering through temporary relationships and bad timing. Everything that had happened since I started attending Greenfield lead to this moment.

After what felt like seconds (but was probably close to eternity) Nick pulled away. His fingers lingered on my tear-stained cheek.

"So what now?" I whispered.

"I guess we enjoy this" Nick answered, his hand never leaving my cheek.

"We've had this coming for a while, haven't we" I said.

"Almost 2 years" he whispered. "I've liked you for a long time."

"You've had feelings for me all this time?"

"Ever since I first met you."

I blushed and looked down at my lap, searching my mind for something to say.

"You haven't made it very easy" Nick said with a small laugh.

"Sorry" I mumbled as I wiped tears off my face with my sleeve.

"You were worth it."

+ + + + + + + + + +

The days passed and I was feeling better about being at school everyday. The school security had been drastically improved and although some people thought it was unnecessary and inconvenient, I was grateful.

I hadn't spoken to anyone from Millcrest since the shooting, not even Becca. She had called everyday, leaving concerned messages and sending multiple texts, but I didn't respond. Mostly because I didn't want to talk about it. I knew she warned me about Charlie and that she really did care that I was almost gunned down but for some reason, I didn't have it in me to call her back.

I was really taking this chance to fully distance myself from Millcrest and everything associated with it. God knows, it had put me through enough.

Things were better though. I had Nick now, and I was sure he wasn't going anywhere. We had been spending a lot of time together and when I was with him, I was the closest to being who I was before the shooting. It's like all the anxiety and uneasiness disappeared when he was around. So I made it a habit to be around him as much as I could. After all, the therapist told me to do what makes me happy.

It had been a little while since Nick kissed me but we hadn't made anything official. It made me kind of nervous considering graduation was just around the corner and after school ended, I didn't know what would become of Nick and I.

I told myself not to worry about it. What was meant to be would be, right? I just didn't want our relationship to be over before it officially started, I guess. We had waited 2 years for this, after all.

As the days came and went and graduation came closer though, I couldn't shake the feeling. I was sure things would hit the fan in the summer. Maybe it was the anxiety talking, the therapist said that could happen. She said it was normal to look for the negative possibilities. Whatever, it was still a possibility.

One day, Nick and I were hanging out at the mall by our school. I had been especially anxious that day, for no real reason, but Nick could tell.

"What's wrong, Haven?" he asked.

"Nothing" I answered automatically, making a point to avoid eye contact.

"I don't believe you" Nick said.

"You don't have to."

"Haven, come on" he said, his voice stronger now, more persistent. He took my hand and made me look at him. "Tell me what's wrong."

"Nothing's wrong, I'm just thinking about... forget it, it's nothing" I said, clearly sounding flustered.

"What? What are you thinking about? Obviously it's not nothing if it's bothering you so much."

"What's going to happen with us after graduation?" I asked. "We won't see each other. We'll be off doing our own thing and we'll lose... whatever this is."

"We'll make it work" Nick assured me although I wasn't convinced.

"How? We haven't made anything official. There's nothing keeping you with me" I said.

"Then let's make it official. Be my girlfriend, Haven. Let's hang onto this."

"But-"

"Be my girlfriend, Haven. Please."

"Okay" I whispered. I had hardly finished speaking before Nick leaned in and kissed me passionately right there in the middle of the mall. The worries melted away like they usually do and this time, I was confident that they wouldn't come back.

***************

Hey readers!

So lately I've been getting a lot of really good feedback. I just wanted to say that thank you to everyone who is commenting and voting. I appreciate it so much. 

So instead of book/movie recommendation time, I'm going to have book/movie review time because I realized there are a lot of things I don't like about the books I read and the movies I watch and this way, I can give a more honest recommendation. So without further ado...

Book Review Time!
The Help - Kathryn Stockett: I know it's a cliche book now but YOU MUST READ IT. It really is a beautiful representation of treatment of black people in the 60s. Very eye-opening and pretty heartwarming at times. Please please please read. 
The Snowball Effect - Holly Nicole Hoxter: So this book is about a girl who's mother kills herself so she's left to grieve with her adopted brother, the sister she never knew, her boyfriend of 4 years, and some mystery man. Honestly, the main character (Lainey) was a pain in the ass with a bad attitude but her boyfriend (Riley) was perfect. I read the book just for him. Super sweet, like the boyfriend we all dream of. All in all, it was just okay. 

Movie Review Time!

The Help (2011) - Obviously I've splurged with this story a little. I read the book and immediately watched the movie after. Super great movie. Not as good as the book (to be expected), but really really good. The cast was freaking amazing and I genuinely enjoyed every minute of it. [Starring: Emma Stone, Viola Davis, Octavia Spencer]
The Spectacular Now (2013)- So this movie is about a guy who helps a shy, unsuspecting girl with her social life and he ends up falling for her. It was really cute. They really nailed the whole teenage interaction thing. The ending was disappointing and left me with a lot of questions though. Good movie, crappy ending. Still real cute. [Starring: Miles Teller & Shailene Woodley]

Thanks for reading!

That_Epiphany