More Than This - n.r.

Chapter 15

Today after school, I decided to go visit Charlie. I didn't tell Nick because I knew he'd freak out. Let's face it, it didn't make sense that I wanted to go see the guy who almost killed me. Nick understood a lot, but he'd never understand that.

I got in my little white car after school, careful to avoid Nick. I made my way to the city jail, unaware of what was really waiting for me there. What else was there to say? What did Charlie think he could do that would change anything? Nothing could take away what he did. No words, no apologies... nothing.

That didn't stop me from being curious and possibly putting myself in harm's way again just to find out.

When I got there I parked my car and walked across the parking lot, taking that time to mentally prepare myself for what was coming. I entered a small lobby with a few chairs and a desk with a cop sitting behind it.

I approached the desk, ready to give my name and reason for being there. I still couldn't believe I was doing this.

"How can I help you?" the cop asked without looking up from the crossword he was doing.

"My name is Haven, I'm here to visit Charlie-"

"The school shooter, right?"

I nodded.

"You're one brave kid," the cop said. "If it were me, I'd stay as far away from his as possible."

I swallowed. That helps. The cop took my silence as a response.

"Alright then, follow me," he said as he rose from his seat and led me to a back room where inmate visitations happened. He gestured to a chair that faced a glass screen. A phone hung on the wall. I sat down and through the glass, I could see Charlie sitting across from me, his orange jumpsuit astonishingly bright next to his ghostly pale skin. The cop left and I was suddenly aware of how alone I was, despite the cops positioned in every corner of the room.

Charlie gestured for me to pick up the phone hanging on the wall. I picked it up and put it to my ear with shaking hands.

"You came," Charlie said into the phone.

"Surprised?" I asked.

"Yes, actually. I knew putting you on my visitor list was a long shot."

"Why did you put me on you visitor list?" I asked.

"I want closure just as much as you do," he said, a dangerous smile plastered on his face.

"You don't know what I want," I countered.

"Sure I do," Charlie said. "You want safety. You want justice. You want me to be locked up here forever. Don't you?"

"I just want to know why you felt like you had to bring a gun to my school."

Charlie only shrugged. "We all have baggage, Haven," he said. "You were mine."

"I never did anything to you."

"That's what all the heart breakers say." A flicker of pain crossed Charlie's face and I could feel a flicker of sympathy cross mine. It didn't stay for long though.

"There was someone watching, wasn't there?" Charlie asked.

"What are you talking about?"

"You came out of a supply closet. But you weren't alone in there, were you. Someone was watching the whole thing happen. Someone was watching me point a gun to your head, right?"

How could he know that? How could he know that Nick was sitting behind the cracked door watching?

"How do you know that?" I asked.

Charlie ignored my question. "That's proof that it was about you," Charlie said. "I knew there was someone behind that door but I spared him and went for you instead. I hope he recognized the flower."

"You don't know who was watching," I said defensively.

"The boy from the ice cream shop. Of course I know. Lovers always find each other in a crisis, Haven. This was no exception."

I swallowed and contemplated hanging up the phone and leaving.

"Look at us," Charlie said as he leaned back in his chair on the other side of the glass barrier. "The hero and the villain having a perfectly nice conversation. Things turned out exactly like justice says they were supposed to."

I said nothing and watched as Charlie leaned forward and put his elbows on the surface in front of the glass on his side.

"You are on the right side of this glass," Charlie said as he tapped the barrier.

"So are you," I said quietly.

"There are cases where the villain wins, you know," Charlie said quietly. "You see, to me, you are the villain, Haven. You are the motive for what I did. You hurt me. But it makes no difference to you, right? It's stupid though, because I'm still in love with my villain."

"If you love me so much, then why did you try to kill me," I said, getting angry now.

"Because pain is stronger than love," he answered.

"That's enough," I said as I stood up. "This is all the closure I need." I slammed the phone down and left the room, ignoring the cops who tried to hold the door open for me and escort me to my car.

Once in the safety of my car, I leaned against the steering wheel and let the tears flow. Charlie's idea of love was twisted and sick. It didn't matter that I was his villain because I knew the sacrifice I had made that day. The sacrifice to save the people in that school. A villain would not have done what I did.

Nonetheless, his words echoed in my mind. Look at us. The hero and the villain...

I started the car and drove far away from there. Far away from Charlie and I took my newfound closure with me.

There's no way the therapist was hearing about this. No one was going to hear about this. My visit with Charlie was my secret to keep and as awful as it was, I did get the closure I was hoping for. That's one thing I can thank Charlie for. 

***************

Hey readers,

Yes, I updated two days in a row. Been really motivated to write lately, so be ready for more!

Movie Review Time!
The Rewrite (2014)- This movie is about a washed up screenwriter who decides to teach a screenwriting class at a  college because he's having trouble getting a job. The students he teaches remind him of why he started screenwriting in the first place and the joy it used to bring him. Really good movie. I laughed a lot. Also a really good cast! [Starring: Hugh Grant & Marisa Tomei]

Thanks for reading, everyone!

That_Epiphany