Candle in The night (completed)

Ended of a chapter

I heard my parents shouting and arguing for more than two hours, as I was locked in my bedroom. I was feeling empty, I cried so much I couldn't do it anymore. I was feeling like everything was hitting me hard on the skin but never getting to me. It was my way of protecting myself, I built walls around myself and I didn't let anything come near me.
Hearing them insulting each other, love turning to hate faster than a heartbeat. I kept wondering why human nature was so corrupted, what pushed my mother to thing it might be a good idea.

The more they screamed, the more I wondered if I did right, if telling my father wasn't a big mistake. I was the one who led to this situation, breaking my family was all I got from my honesty. I knew now they were no coming back, that whatever, it wouldn't end up well.
I would have to make a choice, live with the rich cheater and have a comfortable place, or face life and keep my opinion straight to live with my father without much money. I wasn't courageous, but I already knew I wouldn't be able to live with my mom, facing her everyday would be an insult to my father and to his memory.

I knew now I had lost almost everything, and I regretted every time I've been complaining about. Because I rediscovered once again that a physical pain was nothing compared to a heartbreak. I wanted to be honest and in peace with myself, what I didn't saw coming were the butterfly effect. Just a few words from me, and my family, my life, my parents lives, everything were now falling apart.

Was I being egoist, or was it just the way things should end? If I had said it another way or another time, would it be different? Maybe it was just a one time thing and my mom would have stopped. Maybe she loved my father too much to keep going, and I ruined the only chance to keep my family together. I was feeling so guilty and blaming myself so much I almost forgot my mother was the cheater.

After a while, my father came into my bedroom, closing the door behind he. My instinct made me instantly close my eyes, faking a deep sleep. I heard him slowly falling on the floor, his back probably against the wall as I heard something rubbing against it. Silent felt on the room for a few minutes before I finally heard his silent cries and sobs. I didn't moved, and neither did he, sitting on the floor, crying his pain out with dignity.
Seeing him like this from the corner of my eyes made me even more sure that I wouldn't leave him alone. He was the one I wanted to live with, and nothing would make me change my mind.

After a while, he stood up from his spot and came near me, sitting on the age of my bed. I kept my eyes closed, making sure he would think I was sleeping. I felt his hand brushing a lock off my face, probably starring at my face at the light of the moon.

- I'm sorry to make you go through this Shay, he whispered his tone full of care. I know I'm not here enough for you, and I don't tell it to you, but I'm proud of you. I'm proud of your kindness, your intelligence, your honesty and I'm proud of the way your fighting for your ideas and your dreams.

He sight, his sobs were gone, he was controlling himself now. He wasn't moving, just breathing calmly, he must be lost in his thoughts.

- I didn't realised it before, he talked once again. But you're stronger than the others. It so easy to forget that you're just seventeen, because you're so mature. You've seen too much pain for a girl of your age, you've grown up too fast.

After a while, he left my bedroom, and silent took place in my room. One last tear rolled down my face before I finally felt asleep.

The next day, I woke up to find my father sleeping on the couch, the silent had made his kingdom of my house. I made my way to the kitchen taking a glass of juice before sitting at the table.
My dad came ten minutes later, not saying a thing, just siting in front of me.

- So..? What now? I asked unsure.

- Now we live, he said emotionless.

- Where? I asked.

- Where you want, he said shrugging. As long as I can pay for it.

I nodded my head, glade to see he didn't even tried to make me stay with my mom because she had more money. He knew I wouldn't live with her under the same roof, and I was thankful for that. The silent felt on the room once again, but it didn't bartered me, because I knew I had my father, and he had me, not matter what we would be going through.

- There is an apartment at the gym, it's for the employe, and it's empty for the moment, he commented.

- It will be perfect, I simply said.

We had a place to live, at least for the moment, and everything would be fine, at least I hoped it would be.it was the first good news in a while, and even if living above the gym wasn't the dreamy place to be, it was a place with four walls and a roof, so still better than sleeping under a bridge or in a foster care.
I came back to my room and packed my bags before throwing them into my father car, and half an hour later, a was into my new bedroom. A small room with dirty previously white walls, and a smell of old dirty socks all over the place. The were only a small closet and a kingsize bed that smelled sweat.

Obviously, it wasn't the Ritz, more like a bedsit than a flat, but it was everything we had for now, and I thought we were already lucky. In one week, I survived a beating up, and the breakup of my parents. And even after all faith did to me, I was still standing up, facing the storm of my life, hoping the worst were behind.

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There you goooooo!
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