This afternoon, Clay had his returning game and it went great! He looks better than ever and I'm so proud of him. Britney was extremely proud of her Aaron and I was so happy to see her excited about him. We took the twins back home and she went to her place to have dinner with Aaron. I decided to lay them down for their nap and set up something relaxing and romantic for Clay. While the bath water was running, I led rose petals from the front door to the bathroom. As I put my phone on the iHome and played my favorite playlist, I started to strip down. I heard the front door open and a bag drop down. He's home! I got in the tub and he started to approach the bathroom. He was clearly surprised and thankful. "Baby, you didn't have to do this. Thank you." As he got in the tub, the chorus of "Right There" by Ariana Grande came on and I started singing along. "Your voice is angelic." I kissed him and snuggled into his chest. "Thank you, sweetheart. You had a great game! I was extremely proud. I almost cried, actually." He smiled and kissed my forehead. "Thanks, babe. Oh, Aaron is staying with Britney tonight." I sat up and looked at him with my eyebrow raised. "Um, what? I thought he was just staying over for dinner?" "Why are you so protective over her? You're acting like she's your sister." "I've never been so close to someone like that, so she is my sister. We have a close bond. I never had a sister. I don't even have a family anymore. You guys are my only family." Clay put his hand on his forehead and shook his head. "I'm so sorry, baby. I didn't even think about that." "It's okay. I still love you." I kissed him and wrapped my arms around his neck. "I love you too, Ana. It's crazy knowing we're getting married in two weeks. I can't wait." He kissed me again and started kissing my neck softly, making me groan. "Clay, not now. Maybe later." "You never turn me down. What's going on?" "I'm really tired. You know I didn't get any rest last night." And I was frustrated for no reason. I just don't want to have sex. Yeah, I know. He's Clay Matthews, the sexiest Linebacker in the NFL, but I'm just not feeling it tonight. "I'm sorry, Clay. Don't get upset." He nodded and kissed my cheek. "It's okay, baby. Don't worry about it."
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We got in bed and stared at each other, not even speaking. I've never felt this comfortable around a guy in such a short period of time before. Usually, extended eye contact is extremely uncomfortable, but not with Clay. I ran my fingers through his perfect blonde hair as he closed his eyes. "Ana, I love you." I smiled and kissed his lips tenderly. "I love you too, honey." He rubbed my cheek and sighed. "What's on your mind, baby?" "What's behind those brown eyes, Ana?" "Pain, fear, anger." "Why do you feel pain?" I propped myself on my elbow and tucked a hair behind my ear. "When I was about 5, my mom was in an abusive relationship with my dad. And since I was the only child at the time, he would abuse me sexually and physically." "Jesus. Ana, how did you deal with it?" "Music, soccer, and volleyball. I would try to keep myself as busy as possible just so I wouldn't go home." "Why are you fearful?" "I feel like my dad could come back anytime and possibly harm me or the twins. He never wanted me to date any guy. He always said I was worthless and I would never be anybody. Just an ugly, worthless slut who's only good at laying on her back." "Why are you angry?" "The same day I gave birth to Emma and Jason, he took them from me. He took them from me, left them in Oklahoma, and went back to Barbados like a little bitch. He never apologized or anything. And Blake's infidelity. He's a great guy, but I just can't look at him the same." "You've been through so much, baby. You could write a book and inspire people to speak up about being sexually abused." He held my hand and kissed me. "I love you, Clay. Thank you for listening. No one ever asks me about my childhood." "I love you too. You know I'll always be here for you. You're my world and I can't live without you. You're absolutely perfect." He kissed my cheek and rested his forehead on mine. "No matter what, I'll always be right there. I love you, Ann." "I love you more." We kissed once more and smiled at each other. "We should go check on Emma and Jay." "I bet they're, like, waiting on us." Clay said and my heart melted. "You sounded so cute when you said that! Oh my gosh!" "You're so odd, baby." We shared a laugh and walked to the twins' room.
