Not On Fire (Phan AU)

20 | not on fire

Everybody has heard the stereotypical saying that everything goes by in the blink of an eye. To be honest, Dan never really believed that crap. It always felt like it was dragging on to him. Now however, it feels like his youth is slipping away as time slips through his fingers like a waterfall, pushing him towards inevitable death. The first three years seemed to drag on so slowly, but the same cannot be said about the final one. It feels like just yesterday that he was dreading going back to school after winter break and now February is over and March is slowly coming to an end, too. Before he knows it will be April. Like what the fuck. He graduates at the end of May, for crying out loud.

It's the last day of school before spring break, which means that Dan gets to lounge around home for a whole week without having to worry about reading a book or writing a report. It also means that everything is moving too fast. Someone's floored it--put their foot on the gas pedal and pressed down. There's no breaking to stop and smell the roses. The course and speed have already been determined. That's where the contradiction comes into play. Because the last day before any break whatsoever is always the slowest fucking day of them all. And god knows that the actual break is as fast as it gets.

It's still a little chilly out--and technically still winter for the next few days--but the wind has settled for the most part. Which means that they get to eat lunch outside if they want to. Well, the seniors, that is. There aren't any tables or anything, just trees to sit under. Originally, nobody was let outside, but after so many started complaining, they started letting seniors out as long as there were teachers to watch over them. Not that rules stopped anybody before, but you had to be careful then or risk getting caught. (Of course, the only ones who really challenge it are the smokers, and Dan should know because he's skipped lunch a few different times to smoke.)

In both of his morning classes, Dan has finals. Because spring break marks the end of third quarter, that means that classes--regardless of whether or not they're over--have finals, as either a mid-class check in or a final understanding of what you've learned or haven't learned.

In English class, he has to write a paper, edit, and revise it all in one block. They had taken the multiple choice part the day before, so luckily he doesn't have to worry about that on top of it all. For the paper, he has to compare three things they've read--poems, short stories, novels, anything--based on a certain theme or topic. Good thing that Dan's good at bullshiting because that's the only reason he's able to finish it in time and still be able to skim over it.

His next class is math. For that all he has to do is a performance task where you have to show your work and then there's a multiple choice section. It's easy enough that he's done with thirty minutes to spare. He's left to sit in silence for the rest of the time, as he's not allowed to talk or listen to music until everyone is done. Like he's really going to help any of these people out by giving them answers. He's not fucking stupid. Nor does he have a soft spot for anybody in the class, but he keeps his mouth shut.

With no book to read, his thoughts quickly become repetitive: graduation is approaching, he hasn't started a fire in quite some time, it's warming up, before he knows it he's going to be in college. He still hasn't told anybody what he's going to be majoring in either--a thought that pops up out of the blue and refuses to leave, stopping the cycle he was previously in. He applied way back at the start of the school year and learned shortly thereafter that he had been accepted, which he can thank his grades for because apart from a summer job he held when he was fifteen working at an ice cream shop and a few clubs he joined here and there in middle school and freshmen year, there was nothing on his application except his grades to really make him stand out. He might not always pay the best attention or show up on time, but he's always been smart enough to get all A's without even studying. But the point is that his parents have asked since then and so has Louise, but he's always said shut up and shrugged it off. Why he even kept it a secret to begin with is something he can't remember, but now it feels like something he should keep locked away until the key to opening it is too obvious for anyone to ignore.