The Ice Queen of My Brain

PE

After the nightmare of Language Arts, the next three periods and lunch were quite pleasant. No Keilee, no evil teachers, and surprisingly enough time to talk to my friends. However, when I stepped into the gym, all of that fell apart. 

It had been a year since I had done PE, and I had literally done zero exercise during that time. I was sure that I had gotten even more unfit than I had been before, if that was even possible. I slid into my spot on the gym floor as quietly as I could, trying not to be noticed. The class hadn't even started yet, and I was already jealous of my friends who had already completed the physical education requirement.

Three of the PE coaches were already seated behind their table at the front of the gym, yet the fourth chair was still empty. I had heard we had gotten a new PE coach the previous year, but I'd never seen him before. Curious, I looked at the door. I really shouldn't have. 

The very air seemed to go still as both double doors swung open and a massive, grotesque thing entered the gym. Even the other three coaches seemed a bit unnerved as it advanced towards the table, shaking the ground with every stride. 

I trembled with fear and disgust as the six foot tall bald monstrosity sat down directly in front of me. 

Get that mutated Rhenan away from me! Queen Saralee hissed in revulsion. I don't want whatever diseases it's carrying...

It's not a Rhenan, I replied. That'd be an insult to Rhenans. 

Very true, Queen Saralee nodded. Then, let's call it a boar. I believe that is a more fitting term. 

"Gugudruh!" The boar bellowed, raising its log like arms into the air. 

"Get dressed!" It repeated, seeing that the only response was blank stares. "Four minutes. Go!" 

You deduced correctly, Queen Saralee said as I followed the mob of noisy kids into the locker room. The boar seems capable of only sentences with two to three words, and that too with very limited vocabulary development. It cannot be Rhenan, Rhenans have functional brains. 

I snickered at her comment as I found my PE locker, putting my things inside and turning to the wall to change into my PE clothes. 

I refuse to be seen in this plain, oversized attire! Queen Saralee protested as I finished changing. I look like a peasant! 

Oh well, you don't instantly get whatever you want here. This is the real world- the dumb, boring one- remember? 

Oh yeah...The Ice Queen trailed off. 

I exited the locker room with nine seconds left on the clock and quickly sprinted to my seat, barely making it before the buzzer went off. However, the girl to my right wasn't so lucky. She was less than a second late, a negligible amount, yet the boar didn't let it slide. 

"Ten push-ups. Go!" It screamed. Rage and hatred for the horrible, inhuman PE coach rose up in my stomach as I realized that I had never seen the girl in the hallways before. This meant she was at least a year younger than me, possibly two. Here she was, on her very first day, being embarrassed in front of the entire PE class. 

She collapsed on her stomach as she finished the last push-up, her frightened eyes shrinking away from the boys' mocking looks. 

"Hello," I smiled, turning to her. "We're going to be sitting together for the rest of the year, so we might as well get to know each other. I'm Saralee." 

"I'm Kelly," the girl beamed. "I hate PE." 

"Me too," I laughed, giving her a high five. "Finally, someone else! I'm the master of avoiding physical activity. I've been honing my skills since Kindergarten. I can teach you all my secrets, if you want." 

"Really? That's awesome!" Kelly giggled. 

"Stretches! Start there!" The boar pointed to the left side of the gym. "Go!" 

Shall we write Glitches? Queen Saralee as I did curl-ups. I'd prefer not to waste my time here. 

Sure, I answered. We need to write the chapter where Claire gets assigned to her WGO division. I'm considering Government, so she'll have more interaction with Amanda and Megan. 

No! Make her a Sloppie! Make my traitorous daughter suffer! Queen Saralee cackled. 

But she has such a high Glitching level...Oh, I know! I'll make Amanda change her division placement on purpose, to threaten Megan! 

Perfect! Queen Saralee grinned. You didn't just hear that. I didn't just compliment a human, nope, never, she quickly added. 

A small smile crept onto my lips. Maybe, with Kelly and Queen Saralee, I had a chance of surviving a year of PE with the boar.