Radiation Point

Forty One

The first thing I noticed when I opened my eyes was how bad my back ached. Sleeping on the cold ground below a tree was not the best idea. I blinked away the blurriness and prepared myself to start the day. If Mia and I were to survive, I would need to get up and start our search for water. Through slitted eyes, I tried to pull myself up.
It was like my muscles were weighed down by a heavy anvil. Every time I tried to lift my arms, they stayed put at my side. And the sun. The sun was too bright on my eyes. I couldn't focus. The white blinding light was all I could stare at. As I blinked furiously, the sunlight morphed into a florescent light, suspended from a domed ceiling.
"Oh thank god, she's waking up."
The voice came from my right, and I shifted my eyes to look in that direction.
A middle aged woman with dark brown hair sat on the floor next to me crying. I blinked.
Ellen.
"What happened?" I asked, my voice coming out in a croak.
Ellen wiped her tears with the side of her hand and straightened up. She looked across from her, with questions in her eyes. I shifted my eyes in that direction and saw Jackson standing next to a cot with thin white sheets covering a tiny form.
Mia's cot.
Then I remembered. Ellen didn't need to tell me. Seeing Jackson nod with a solemn face, I already knew what they were going to tell me. Mia was gone. Dead.
Ellen's hand touched my face, and slowly tugged my gaze away from the cot where my sister's body was. Ellen's eyes were puffy and red from crying. She sniffled and tried to compose herself, her lips still quivering.
"Nessa, I know this is hard. But you have got to pull yourself together. For that little girl."
A lumped formed in my throat as I thought about Mia. She was already gone. I couldn't save her. What was the point of doing anything anymore?
As if guessing my thoughts, Ellen continued talking, through the steady stream of tears that poured down her face.
"I know it's hard. I know. But you need to get up and fight. She deserves vengeance."
I blinked. She did deserve vengeance. But I felt hollow inside. Broken. It was like losing Mia had opened the flood gates that I had kept so tightly shut.
"You at least should be there when we bury her. It's only right," Ellen continued.
That made me sit up. My arms felt shaky and weak as I propped myself up to look at Ellen.
"Why am I on the ground?" I asked, finally speaking again.
Ellen gave me a sad, small smile.
"You passed out, Sugar. From shock," Ellen said.
"I believe you have some form of post traumatic stress disorder," Jackson said, crossing the gap between Mia's bed and myself. "You've been through a lot in such a short time."
I looked at Jackson's familiar face, taking in the lines of concern and the broad shoulders. He was a good man; a good doctor. Since the bomb dropped, he'd probably been through a lot himself. We all had. But still he stood there, moving on, and taking care of people.
Just like Mia used to. Just like Mia would have wanted me to.
Tears stung in my eyes just thinking about her. She'd been my rock as much as I'd been hers. And she was the last family member; the last connection I had to my old life. Could I really bury her and move on?
It didn't seem possible. Sadness gnawed at my insides, twisting my stomach into a knot. Saying good bye to Mia would be harder than anything I'd done so far.
"Typically, we treat PTSD with medication and therapy. But as you may have guessed, that's not an option for you right now," Jackson said, matter of factly.
I listened to him with an odd sense of detachment. Post traumatic stress disorder. And my sister was dead. Nothing made sense except for the burning sadness throbbing through me.
"But there is one treatment I would like to try for you. Hypnosis. Hopefully, the session will help you become functioning enough to fight the commissioner tonight."
"Are you sure that's a good idea?" Ellen asked from my right. "The girl's been through a lot. Maybe all she needs is some rest and quiet."
"Undoubtedly that's what she needs," Jackson said. "But that's not something she'll ever get here. I truly believe this is her best-and only-option for surviving these next few days."
"I just don't think it's a good idea, is all. You didn't see her hit that floor when she saw her sister. She won't do well out in the woods."
Jackson and Ellen's conversation buzzed above me like bees in a nest. I heard them talking, but all I could think about was the pain and the sadness.
I'd never see Mia's beautiful, smiling face again.
I'd never feel her tiny hand in mine again.
My sister was gone, gone, gone. And it killed a piece of me to lose her.
"Will it make the pain go away?" I blurted suddenly, interrupting their conversation.
Ellen and Jackson didn't speak for a moment, only exchanged silent glances before returning their attention to me.
"I'm not sure it works like that, V," Jackson said, looking at me sadly.
"But there's a chance? There's a chance you could hypnotize me and take away the pain?" I asked urgently.
"Well, that's always a possibility, but I wouldn't--"
"Do it."
"Sweetheart, are you sure you wanna put yourself through this? You don't have to," Ellen said, putting a hand on my arm.
I ignored her and focused on Jackson.
"Do it."