1001 Ways To Annoy People

(35) Ways To Annoy People In A Restaurant

1. Do that thing with your straw that makes that super annoying noise when the drink is almost gone.

2. Every time the waiter comes to your table ask for extra napkins and stuff them into your purse.

3. Bring in your own food and ask if they'll heat it up for you.

4. Request if they will order your food from McDonalds.

5. Make a fort out of table cloth and hiss at anyone who try's to move it.

6. When they give you the food look at the fork strangely. Start licking the fork without breaking eye contact. Say "You didn't clean this did you?"

7. Wear them same clothing (the name tag and everything) as your waiter and demand to get free food because you work there.

8. Bring your collections of cat teeth and count them while you wait for your food. If someone looks at you funny scream "I already called dibs!"

9. When you get your water say "Bitch please, I said four ice cubes."

10. Request someone chews your food for you.

11. Order something really confusing like "I want three and a half egg yolks and four seventeenths of a banana with some what ranch American Indian dressing on the side but don't forget a small medium spicy mango cherry sprite without the fizz." then ask if they got all that.

12. Bring your pet skunk and threaten if you dont get free water youll shut the place down, then hold up your skunk.

13. Take your bra off (if your a guy... still take your bra off XD) and start whipping people with it and jump around. (I would crack up so much if I saw a old lady do this!!!)

14. Start eating people.

15. When someone drops something say "You humans won't last a day when they come..."

16. Start twitching violently and when someone looks at you funny start eating your food again like nothing happened.

17. Have a really annoying coughing fit and when a waiter comes to ask if your okay start screaming at them asking why they wouldn't let your imaginary unicorn come in.

17. In a conversation, pick one word and say it in almost every sentence. "Honestly I honestly can't stand her. She honestly needs to brush her hair and honestly get a job. It's honestly not that hard. Honestly."

18. Start punching people's salads yelling the Return is coming.

19. Yell at your drink until it answers you.

20. Walk into the kitchen and ask when your food will be ready.

21. Walk around the filled tables slowly taking there bread when they look away.

22. Start a debate team with the customers.

23. Set up a Zen garden with tropical flowers and trickling fountains then politely ask if other want to pray to the Japanese gods with you. If they say no threaten to eat their children.

24. Refuse to order any food but when your water is refilled pour it into a gallon jug then leave.

25. Offer the waiter a really nice tip (like 40%) then say "JUST KIDDING!" Then run off laughing like a unicorn.

26. Bring a microwave and plug it into an outlet invading another family's personal bubble. Shove a overly large watermelon in it. Cook the watermelon, refusing to leave until it blows up on everybody. Then leave.

27. Go to a fancy restaurant with your closest friend and moan and cry about how much you miss 'him' with ice cream and loud 80's music blasting in the background.

28. Put a fart machine under someone high classes chair and when they bend down push the button continuously so it looks like they are having a serious farting issue.

29. Bring your own tv and watch loud shows with lots of cussing (works best if in some place like Burger king or Chunky Cheese.)

30. Try to order coconut milk.

31. Ask if they got the meat from an organic farm and if they say 'no' start screaming and punching people.

32. Pick your nose and flick the booger at some one 'high-class'es plate.

33. Go around the tables singing Christmas carols then ask for their food as a reward. Tell them you weren't asking.

34. When at a fast food place ask for a reservation for the best seat in the house.

35. Scratch your head a lot until a bunch of dead skin falls off. Collect the skin flakes and as you pass another table just randomly reach over and sprinkle it on someone's food.