1001 Ways To Annoy People

(36) Ways To Annoy People On Valentines Day

Dedicated to Truthooo, for being a amazing writer and super awesome Wattpad buddy :)

Hello again my Little Peachiez, I have missed you all... May I just say how happy I am that this book has finally hit 1000 reads? I mean now, anyway its probably at 1050 or something but I -Legit- threw a party in my room. It was about 10:30 on a school night so I wasn't really suppose to be awake... but anyway I see that it was at 1004 reads and (Sigh im emotional) Start crying. Just BAM I start crying right in front of my computer screen like the loser I am. I ran down the steps at a extremely dangerous speed for me and my mom sees me crying and heard me trample down he stairs and she was like "WHAT HAPPENED!?" And I sniffled and was like "...I-I Got a thousand freaking reads..." And then just died on the couch.

That's sort of how it happened... But here's how to annoy people on Valentines day!

1. Buy chocolate and good yummy stuff for you and your cat and hiss at people as they pass you.

2. Find your crush, then go behind them and start sniffing their hair. Sniff their armpit, shirt, feet and so on to find out if they really tried to smell nice that day.

3. Eat garlic bread, friend salmon, anchovies pizza, and then not brush your teeth and breathe heavily on everyone that looks at you all flirty-like.

4. If someone asks you out, asks you to go to the school dance, whatever you guys do, make them go on a computer with REALLY slow internet/wifi to find out who they really are.

5. Look at every one of the opposite gender and smile dementedly mumbling into your sleeve "The more the merrier..." but say it loud enough for everyone to hear you.

6. When getting ready for school forget one crucial detail in your dress code then go to school like that. (If you have glasses, don't bring them. If you have wheelchair, get there on your own. If your just flat-out-gorgeous, go to school without a bra.... sorry dudes.)

7. Call 'Valentines day' 'Valentimes Day'.

8. If your single, make a overly creepy shrine in your room (At home)/ locker (At school) of the person you like and have pictures they didn't know you took of them, samples of there hair ect.

9. If your in a relationship... does everyone know about it? Make sure everyone within 30 feet of you know your in lovey dovey with your Mushy Moo Moo. Make it extremely obvious your dating someone to the loudest and most ear splitting extent.

10. If your a single pringle, make cards for people with nothing but brutal honesty in them.

^^ 'Hi, (Y/N)! I don't really know you but in the forth grade you stole my fish crackers so every day sense, I have imagined breaking you then pushing your body into a lake! With hearts and love- ) Moohahaha that sounds so rude... I love it!

11. While at lunch, at school or restaurant buy TWO lunches and sit across from the other one. Laugh to your self and make witty remarks and crack up every so often. Bring your own roses and candy then when walking away hold your hand out for your "Boyfriend/ChickyFriend" and walk away for everyone to wonder.

12. If your super hot or attractive and popular and stuuf (HAHA Stuuf :D) and your single on valentines day walk around looking lost and confused.

13. Cry and mumble things into your sleeve while reading cheesy romance things on Wattpad as the single you are.

14. Poop all over the candy people got for them.

15. Poke someone from behind then start by saying "Hello, im (Y/N) and I would be honored if you would give me to privilege to ask you-" Then when they turn around say "Ohh im sorry, I didn't notice your ugly..." then prance off to the next human.

16. When you and your 'love' are going out to a movie or to your house for a date and you have a single pringle friend force him to go with you. If he still doesn't want to join the threesome (LAWL), blackmail him by threatening to break his things like his PS3 game or star wars action figures.

17. On the Sims3 make your perfect fantasy boy/chicky friend and make out with the screen. (Bonus points if your mom watches you).

18. When someone asks you out on a date say you don't need anyone because you have a man at home named FluffyFace and he is currently at home working on his food tray. So no. You don't need anyone.

19. Go around screaming "LOVE IT, LIST IT, WATCH IT, WIN IT!

20. In a public place like Rite aid or Drug Mart propose to your self in the mirrors.

21. If one of your single friends looks sad go up to them looking supportive and say "it's alright... nobody loves you on the rest of the days either," the walk away pretending you found the cure for cancer.

22. Twiddle your thumbs nervously and wait for your boyfriend. When he gets back say, "God... What's the results?" when he said you failed sign in relief then say "good, I didn't want to seem like a nerd." then dance away awkwardly.

23. Draw a picture with permenant marker on everyones lockers of how you turely feel about them. (Heart, knife, man jumping of bridge, poptarts...)

24. Go up to your crush with a fake mustache on pretending to be selling microwaves but really having them write down their addressees on the 'Sign Up Sheets' *WINK WINK*

25. Shower your crush in stupidly cute teddy bears.

26. Make 100's of notes with cutesy text talk. (U R A Q T <3)

27. Threaten to put a small animal (Hamster, kitten, snake ect.) in your crushes bed if they dont agree to go out with you.

28. When on a inside date, and you go outside... start hissing at the sight of the sun and try to find any dark shadows to hid in.

29. Cover your crushes locker with hearts & roses then super glue them on so they cant come off.

30. Make sure all of your friends have dates or dude/chickyfriends to go out with and if they dont drag them along on your date.

31. Bake cookies in the shape of your crushes face then eat them violently.

32. Constantly bug your lovah to buy you expensive cars. (They dont truely love you if they dont get you a Mustang.)

33. Set up a kissing booth where you pay people to kiss YOU.

34. Follow your crush aorund writing down everything they do.

35. Make a homemade love potion with random stuff in it (Flower pedals, perfume, hammers) and spray it on people as they walk by.

36. Pretend your The Little Mermaid learning how to walk for the first time and 'Fall' *WINK WINK* into your crushes arms dramaticly.