“So your mom left?” Niall asked with tears in his eyes.
“Yeah, me, Riley and my father.” I respond
Louis was still pissed at me, Liam hasn’t said a word, and Zayn is an emotional wreck along with Niall. Harry…hasn’t been seen or heard from since he left.
“Samie?” I hear Liam ask quietly, I nod in response “Are you still depressed?” He asks
“I was medically diagnosed with depression when I was 14, I was told I was getting better after I started singing but I don’t believe it. So yeah, I think I still am.” I say sadly
Yeah, depressed, I guess that’s the word.
---
It’s been a while since I told everyone, nobody talked to me after that. I’ll just lock myself away again, shut everyone out. Nobody has to care about me, maybe I’ll just leave. I can always go to Savannah, or Riley or even Danny. Speaking of Savannah I haven’t talked to her in a while.
To: Savannah
From: Samie
Hey Sav
I lay down on the couch, everyone else had gone to bed and I camped out in my closet while everyone else did their thing. I flipped on the X-Factor, something I watched a lot.
To: Samie
From: Savannah
Hey Samie-Wamie;)! How’s the secret going?
To: Savannah
From: Samie
It’s out, Sav, they all know.
She almost immediately replied.
To: Samie
From: Savannah
Are you okay? Is it happening again?
I don’t know. I honestly don’t know. Am I falling into that pit again? I don’t know, I mean, I guess I am. Yeah, I am. I’m never happy, I smile and laugh but I fake it. I sit up putting my elbows on my knees and resting my head in my hands and begin crying. I have to. It’s the only way.
I get up and walk into the kitchen seeing the knife block in the corner; I wrap my fingers around the handle of the largest knife. A butcher knife. I pull it out, my tears still falling, I can’t feel anything. I’m numb. Is this it? Is this how everything happens. Is this how it ends?
I pull the knife out crying harder, my vision blurred, I can barely make out the light teal walls, everything is a blur I can’t see anything. I see figures, not of humans of kitchen appliances. They are the only things here for me; no human would ever want to be here for me. I’m that depressed girl, the one that cuts, the one that nobody loves, the one that lies, the one that fakes everything even if it hurts the people closest to her.
I place the cool familiar blade against my skin. I put pressure on my forearm. I feel the blade slice the skin, the initial pain is gone, and I feel relief. I still can’t see, I’m crying too hard. I’ve lost my way. I hear yelling, I can’t make out the words they’re saying, I feel an arm wrap around me as they sob, I feel the knife taken from me. I do nothing. I can’t move, I don’t even want to move. I’ve lost all sort of motivation I had before, as if I’ve been drained of everything I’ve known. I lost my way.
Black dots fill what’s left of my vision; soon open my eyes to see the last thing I will see. Harry, tears streaming down his cheeks, yelling at me not to leave him.
But I do anyway.
(A/N)
Hey guise! I'm feeling emotional, so I'll be writing a few emotional chapters.
I know this is an intense chapter, sorry but it's needed. I feel like I'm talking to nobody so can someone comment saying they read these?
Wait! Even better, answer this question:
Favorite One Direction Song? BESIDES SOML AND BSE :) it can be any other song though!
I just want to interact with you more:)
So earlier I discovered new people!!
Union J and Conor Maynard like omg<3 I know, I'm probably really late on discovering these people but oh well anyway go check them out!:)
WERE AT 190 READS ONLY 10 MORE READS TILL I TRIPLE MY LONGEST CHAPTER!
Love you my Pretzels!!:)<33 xx
xx _DatWriterChick xx
