It failed. I survived. I don’t know if I’m happy or sad about not dying. I open my eyes, not confronted by white walls of a mental institute or hospital, but the calming brown of the living room, I look around, it all feels so new. I look to the couch next to me, Harry is sitting there with his elbows on his knees with his head in his hands. He’s sobbing.
“Harry?” I whisper he looks up at me tears still falling, his face is drained of life, his usual bright green eyes a dull brown color. He looks lifeless, out of hope, and empty.
“Oh my god, Ana.” He kneels by the couch.
“I’m not Ana anymore. It’s Samie.” I reply looking down. I’m so guilty, I’ve lied to the people who care the most about me, the people who I’ve learned to love as brothers. I sit up not hesitating to wrap my arms around Harry, he hesitantly wraps his arms around me in return.
“Why did you do it An-Samie?” The name sounding forigen, I haven’t gone by that name in so long.
“I was desperate, everyone hates me. You hate me, I don’t know why you’re even here. I wouldn’t be here if I were you.”
“Then it’s a good thing you’re not me isn’t it? I came back because I care about you, we may fight, argue, bicker, and I may seem like I hate you at some points but I will never leave. I’ll always come back.” I pull out of the hug looking into his eyes. “I promise, Sam.” He was sincere, he meant every word he just said.
“So what do we do from here?” I ask
“I don’t know, Sam. I really don’t.” He says sighing sitting next to me.
“Let’s start over.” I say turning to face him sticking my hand out “Hi, I’m Samie” I smile
“Hi, Samie I’m Harry.” He says shaking my hand also smiling.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Harry.”
“It’s quite the pleasure to meet such a beautiful lady as you.” He says winking.
“Well, aren’t you cheeky, Harry?” I say giggling. He just winks again and turns facing the television that isn’t even on, and we sit in silence, not awkward silence, just comfortable silence.
---
I roll over to find a curly haired fellow and my blonde hair falls in front of my eyes, but for once I don’t care.
“Good morning, Sam.” He says with his eyes still closed.
“I’m going to cook breakfast!” I yell walking out of the bedroom, grabbing a pony tail on the way. I quickly throw my hair up in a pony tail, letting small pieces frame my face. The rest of the boys are sitting on the couches watching something. I grab three skillets out of the cupboard, one for eggs, one for pancakes, and one for bacon and sausage.
I finish up the last of the food and scoop it onto 6 different plates then leave the same amount in a bowl to leave on the counter, these boys eat a lot.
“Breakfast is ready!!” I yell and although they might be still mad, they come in anyway and sit down as I set a plate in front of all of them.
“There are seconds on the counter.” I say sitting down in between Harry and Niall. I pick up my fork and begin eating.
“An-Samie, what’s on your wrist?” Liam asks from across the table, I look down at my wrist. I look at Harry, giving him a look telling him I didn’t want to say it. He nods understanding.
“I came home last night and went into the kitchen to see her practically lying in her own blood. She had a butcher knife in her hand.” He finished telling them and all eyes were on me.
