74 | happy f#cking birthday

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What does it feel like
when you're slicing up your cake?
Does it feel the same
when you're slicing up your skin?

Give you a teaspoon of poison
craftily wrapped in a packet of sweet crystals
give you a plate of toxicating cake
chocolate is sweet but sour when you eat

And the acid in your stomach
builds up a new crack on the inside
and the salty stream
flowing down your crimson cheeks
add up to the tragic scene
of your own twisted life
Remembering how you bled
how you took your secret knife
when you slit up your wrists
and you never want to cease

And as you close your eyes
you begin to kill the light
to finally wish you'd find
your friend from another kind
whose name is hope
but then you cut the rope
separating the two of you
now he's gone
and you're back to zero

In your mouth
tasting the toxic, the acid and the sour
the poison you hungrily devour
today is sunday — your suicide day
happy, happy, happy fucking birthday!

(07/31/99)


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