This one is sad. D:
The whispers, they were everywhere, following Alex as if they were bound to her.
“Ugly” She heard in the hallways, next to her locker.
“Weak” When she missed the ball in P.E.
“Stupid” When she didn’t know the answer in math.
At home, they morphed into shouts, and yells.
“Worthless” “Useless” “Mistake” Her parents called her, every day. Alex tried so hard, she wanted them to love her, she truly did. But she could never live up to the sister she could barely remember, the one they had lost at nine.
“You’ll never be as good as Sarah!” Sarah was the golden girl, the one who got perfect grades, and was a superstar in soccer. Alex was the hidden one; the one that got pushed aside, the one who was always writing. All her parents could see was that they had lost their angel, and were left with a girl who would never compare to her. They never saw her talents, maybe she could write, or draw, but they didn’t care. So Alex hid away from them, because when they saw her, they criticized her, telling her she would never be as good as her sister. Alex didn’t hate her sister, because she had cared, and loved her sister, four years younger than her. Sarah had defended her, and was like a mother to her ever since Alex was born. Now she was gone, and Alex was alone.
She didn’t cut, for she was scared of the knife, all the times her father had threatened her with it would come back to her mind, when she held one. Many people believed she did, and they teased her about it, ridiculing the fact that she always wore long sleeves, not knowing how insecure she was about herself, covering up so no one would see.
In school, she was a nobody, the emo girl, the outcast. She was lucky if she made it through first period without anyone shoving her over. Alex had come to see the world as a place full of pain. Nobody cared about her, and she was about ready to leave and never come back.
“Move outta my way ugly!” One of the popular boys shoved her over, and her foot collapsed under her painfully. Trying to hold in her gasp of pain, she scooted over, getting away from the boy, Ryan. Alex struggled to stand up, wincing as she put weight on her ankle.
She was dreading P.E., she could barely walk, much less play flag football, she knew she was doomed. Alex dodged people as they dived for the balls, staying out of the way. She was done with this world, she wanted to leave, then she wouldn’t have to feel pain, or humiliation. She could finally be free. At the end of P.E., she got up to head back to locker rooms, when pain exploded and she near collapsed, holding her head. Someone had thrown the football right into the back of her head, their laughter echoing in her ears, only reminding her of why she was leaving. To her surprise, someone grabbed her, helping her up; Alex flinched, expecting whoever it was to throw her back on the ground. But it never happened.
Her eyes were shut in pain, but she opened them just enough to see brown hair and brown eyes, and a smile, directed at her. How long had it been since she had seen one of those, so so long, not since Sarah. She gazed at him, asking him silently with her eyes, why? Why was he here helping her?
When school was over she went home, dreading what she might find. Her father wasn’t home, but her mom was there.
“You lazy b***ch, why didn’t you do the dishes this morning?” her mom hissed, glaring at her. Alex shrunk down, not daring to mention that she’d had to deal with her father’s rage that her A- on the psychics quiz had been worse that Sarah would have gotten. He had yelled at her for almost fifteen minutes, and had taken away her computer, cutting her off from her writing for a week.
“I’ll do them now.” She whispered, looking anywhere but her mother’s eyes, condemning her.
“You’d better.” Alex had lied; she wouldn’t be doing the dishes. She ran up to her room, put down her things, grabbed her sketch book, and ran out into the woods next to her house. She flipped to the page where she had drawn herself, in midair. She began to draw, her pencil adding small details as she went, trying to capture the image she wanted, so whoever found this could understand exactly what she was feeling.
Alex finished, and gazed at her picture, she was still in midair, her eyes closed, and an expression of happiness was on her face. But in the background, she had drawn a cliff, rocky, with plants growing around the top of it. It was the cliff she walked to next, and she looked towards the bottom of it. This was it, she could let herself go, and forget all the pain and suffering in her life, she was two steps away. Alex dropped her sketchbook on the floor, near the cliff. One, two, three, she sprinted towards the edge, and leapt off, or tried any way.
Alex screamed in frustration, the world wouldn’t even let her go, why couldn’t they let her be happy. She sobbed, tears of anger, fighting the arms that held her, but they were so much stronger.
“What are you doing?” A shocked voice broke through her inner turmoil. It was him, the one with brown hair, and the kind smile.
“I was trying to be happy, let me go!” He had to understand, there was no one for her here. At least if she died, her sister would be there.
“NO, I won’t let you die.” He looked into her eyes, and she could see tears brimming in his eyes.
“Why? No one will care; I want to see my sister!” She begged him.
“I care.” He said it so quietly, she almost missed it. It shocked her, he cared about her?
Now, when she is sick and tired of this world, and thinks about leaving, she has someone to consider, someone who really cares about her. When she thinks about flying free, something holds her back. Jason comes into her mind, because he keeps her grounded.
Bullying is horrible, and if you are ever in a hard situation, remember that if you aren’t helping, you are just part of the problem.
