See no Love, Hear no Love, Speak no Love

Tattoo

"daddy! daddy! daddy!" I jumped onto daddy's lap when he was sitting on the couch.

"What is it sweetheart" He laughed.

"daddy I got a 4 on my spelling test look!" I shoved the paper in his face.

"Sweetie this is amazing. You know what this calls for." I jumped up and down knowing exactly what this was called for.

"Ice cream!" I screamed. Daddy nodded his head and scooped me up in his arms swinging me around making motor sounds which caused me to go in a fit of laughter and giggles. Then, the next thing I knew I was hiding under my bed in fear.

"Lucy! Get your useless ass out hear now!" I stayed under my bed not moving other than my trembling body showing how much fear was in me. The door burst open. I screamed when he grabbed me from under the bed.

"Daddy, daddy please no!" I screamed. "Please daddy"

"Shut up you stupid bitch! Your a mistake, I told your mother to get rid of you when we had the chance!" I curled up in a ball letting those words get to me as he hit my body over and over. I looked at the door way and saw mom just standing there and watching, not saying a word. Then she left.

"MOM!"

I woke up with a start. That memory will never leave me and forever haunt my dreams. Different ones come now and then but this one always hits me the hardest. I took a look at my surrounding. I wasn't in a motel like I usually am. So yesterdays events were real. I was in the king size bed in the room. I slowly got out of the bed and went to the bathroom. I looked in the mirror like I always do and saw the pathetic Lucy Gonzales. The one who will never learn to trust, to be truly happy, to love.

I splashed cold water on my face and then turned on the shower. It is weird how some people say when they take showers it takes most of their stress away. For me it always gives me room to think about my life. It makes me look at reality and wish for a fantasy. I turned off the shower and changed into some cloths that weren't dirty. I wonder if Trevor and Clair would let me use there washer and dryer. There was a faint knock on the door. I turned my head to see Clair coming out already dressed.

"Hey, morning sunshine" She said.

"Morning" I said  "Um is it okay if I can use your washer and dryer, I am kind of running low on cloths?"

Clair looked at me and smiled.

"Well my dear here is the problem. You don't have very many cloths. So my solution today is." She pulled out her credit card. "Shopping!"

My eyes felt like they were about to pop out of my head. "No, no Clair you don't ha. ." I didn't get to finish my sentence.

"No Lucy we are going shopping" She said in a stern voice. I nodded my head in defeat.

"Great! get your shoes on we leave in five. And since you don't start work til noon, we have all morning so bring your work uniform and lets vamoos"

She walkedout of the room talking to herself while I stood there dumb. I snapped myself back to reality and grabbed my work uniform and stuffed them in a bag and met up with Clair. We spent most of the morning going in store after store after store an now my hands are filled with new cloths which I have to admit are pretty cute.

"Okay so we got you cloths do you have a swim suit?" She asked as we were walking. I looked at her.

"I use shorts and a tank top for swimming" I shrugged

"Okay that will  no do. You live in North Carolina now with sunny beach. You need a swim suit." She nodded at me. I shrugged my shoulders again. We walked to this swim suit place kind of store. I sat on one of the seats as Clair was taking out random suits for me to try on. Most of them bikini.