Just in my head

First day of college

What are your expectations from our first day of college?

Well, I'll tell you about mine, it wasn't as good as I expected it to be.

Actually, towards the end it got really bad. I was in a bad mood by the end of the day, and all I wanted was to come home. So, I did, but now I feel that I kind of missed an opportunity to make new friends.

One of my friends got the college that I desired whole-heartedly and she's all about how great it is and how it is the best of all the colleges with an amazing campus and coolest crowd.

It's not like I am not happy for her, but it's kind of ........... I don't know.

It just put me in a bad mood.

So much so that I nearly got into thinking that I won't be able to enjoy my college life at all.

So much so that I thought that I need to get through these three years as soon as possible and I thought that I won't be able to make any new friends and that "what am I gonna do without my friends"(who by the way, are not in my college, so I won't be able to meet them very often and every now and then, or even at all, I don't know.)

I'm still in the same situation and I don't like it. I don't know what I'm gonna do and I don't know what needs to be done.

All I know is that I'll carry on and try to make the best of it, quitting is never an option for me.

I need to and I want to build a strong career.

I have to be totally independent and free or else I'll die.

I'm here, wherever I am because of me. My situation is all because of my own efforts. I never asked my dad to talk to people to get me where I wanted to be neither did I ask him to pay any extra money to get me the college that I desired.

My college is in the top 20 in the country and that is the only thing that is keeping me from crying about everything.

Even though I am happy that it's actually a good and reputed college, it's still not the one I wanted it to be.

My friend though is enjoying that college even though she didn't deserve it either.

In a way, it's good that I got exactly what I am and not more by 'let's say luck', but still the point remains exactly where it was before, I couldn't get what I wanted.

Now, I don't know if I should be happy or what, but I definitely should not be sad.

Am I right?