Am I Strong Now? (Creek Story)

Nighttime Thoughts

-Tweek's Pov.-

Craig takes hold of my injured hand, lightly squeezing it. I give him a warm smile. He'll protect me. He will protect me. I am safe. I am safe. I am safe...

I stare into his eyes, I feel like I am being hypnotized. They are so beautiful. I wish I could stare at them all day. But...but I can't. I can't. I have to stop. But...

I can't...

We suddenly hear the front door being unlocked. I start to panic a little. What if it's a robber!? Or a murderer?!?
Gah!! I'm going to die! But wait, Craig said he'd protect me! So am I safe?!? Maybe?? I don't know!! GAH! This is Too Much Pressure!!!

I quickly bring my knees to my chest and shove my face in my knees. I start shaking violently, keeping hold of my coffee, nearly dropping it. I start to breath rapidly. No no no. Calm down. Calm down. Deep breaths, In, Out, In, Out, In, Out...

I feel a little a better and lift my head to see Craig's Mother and Sister stepping in the house. I let out a sigh of relief and set my legs back down. I start sipping my coffee again, feeling safer now.

"Oh, Hello Tweek. Are you here to sleepover?" His Mother asks me. I glance over at Craig and see him smiling.

"Want to?" He asks. I can here a little hope in his voice, and his eyes look like they are begging me. I doubt it though. I'm a freak, he doesn't really want me over. No one would. But I still want to, even if this isn't real. It can't be. I know it.

"If i-it's alright wi-with you, Mrs.
T-tucker..." I reply, looking down sheepishly.

"Of corse it is"

I feel relief wash over me and I pull out my phone. I begin to call my mother and tell her where I am. When I ask her, she tells me I can stay. A smile creeps on my face, and I thank my Mom. I hang up and glance up at Craig.

"So?" He questions, smiling a little.

"Sh-she said y-y-yes," I report, smiling cheerily.

"Yessss!" He whispers to himself. "This is going to be so much fun."

~Time Skip-11:36pm~

As Craig and I lay on his bedroom floor, chatting like crazy. His blanket is slung over his head and Stripe in his lap. He spouts excitedly about the new Terrance and Phillip he watched the other day well keeping Stripe in his lap. I can't help zoning out, starring at his messy hair, nodding every so often. He looked adorable, but I pushed the thought away as I can't help but repeating what he said to me.

"You're Weak."

I don't know why it's bothering me so much. I know I'm skinny, and I know I don't have muscles. It's obvious I am weak. I wouldn't disagree, but I can't help feel...

Hurt...

Is it because Craig said it? Or because it's true? I mean, it is true. I shouldn't be so bothered. I get called worse stuff way more then just Weak. Much worse, primarily by Cartman. Why does it bother me then? It must be because I don't Want to be weak. I really don't want to be weak. If I'm weak, Craig won't like me. He'll hate me, I know it!! He's so tough, and well built. And I'm weak. He won't want to hang out with a weak person! He probably doesn't even want to hang out with me anyways!!

     "You alright Tweek? I snap out of my thoughts and nod my head. "Okay..." He says, unsurely.

       I try to keep calm as he continues, but I got so near to freaking out. I almost had a panic attack. I just tugged on my shirt, focusing on my breathing.

      Craig eventually became too tired to stay awake and begin to sleep. Before I laid down, I examine Craig's body. He's much taller then when we were kids, and more muscular. I can't help but feel a little jealous. He looks much more attractive. I look down at my hands, flushing a bit. I begin to inspect my body only to be disappointed.

I'm so scrawny, and shaky. I can't even sit still. I have no muscles or strength. I'm just a Spazy freak. Unlike Craig, he can punch a board in half. And break a kid's arm! I've seen it!! He is so strong, and courageous...

I'm no better than when I was a little kid. I'm just useless. A waste of space. I can't do anything right.

I sigh and lay down to sleep. I keep twitching, so it's difficult to get comfortable. I keep rolling over, from side to side.

I just decided to lay on my back and stay like that. I still can't sleep though. I feel like I am in a time loop. I keep hearing You're Weak play over and over in my head. It's keeping me up. I'm never going to sleep. Not like I get any anyhow...

I know it's not Craig's fault. He didn't mean to hurt my feelings. Did he? It didn't sound like it. But it could've! Oh god now I'm accusing Craig of being mean! No No No! He's not mean! He's nice and protects me. He protects me...

Still, he said it. He knows it. He probably hates me now. He hates that I'm weak. He has too, he can't like a weakling like me! Especially since he is so brawny!! I'm just a problem. I can keep bothering him. I'm just in his way...

What do I do? I can't ignore the feelings I have for him forever! But if I tell him anything, he'll hate me! I can't ruin our friendship. At least I think friendship. I hope friendship. If I ruin that, I will have no one. I can't have no one. I'm so afraid of loneliness. I can't stand being alone for so long. I remember when I was, I hated that.
So fucking much...

So I have to do something. I wonder if I can get strong. I can do something to show Craig I'm strong. Then he'll like me! At least he might.
Hopefully...

What should I do though? How can I prove my strength? How can I show Craig I am worth having as a friend? How can I show him I am not weak?

How can I show him I Am Strong?

After almost an hour deep in though, I landed myself on a stupid idea. I crazy idea. A horrible, insane, idiotic idea.

I could die. If I follow with this, I could either meet my end, or come undoubtedly close to it. If I make one wrong move, I will be seriously hurt. I might not get to see my parents again. I might not get to see South Park High School again. I will never see Craig again. I will be gone.

But if I manage to do it right, I will be strong. I will surly be strong, how could I not? I will feel like a champion. I will be a champion I will feel so happy. I could impress Craig and he would like me! At least I hope he would. Please...

I smile at myself. I am finally useful. Finally.... I've made the perfect plan. A plan that will bring my life up. It's so stupid, yet the most perfect way to prove I am strong.

I glance up at Craig's digital clock on his bedside table. 1:03am. Man. I better get some sleep. I need to be rested for tomorrow. I pull my blanket up and curl into a ball.

Get ready, Craig. Tomorrow, you can see how strong I really am...