Wildlings

37: Animals

Judit sat on the beach and waited for Rama. She wondered if they'd go out to see the selkies again. She hoped so. It would be way more special this time. The two of them, alone.

Jaddy had stuck his head into her blackhouse, just before she came down to the beach, said he was ill. She didn't believe it for a second. The way him and Gaen looked at each other, she was sure something had happened when they were out fishing. I wonder what goes on all day out there, she thought. In the woods, on the water.

Not that she cared, of course. Jadrun's supposed illness just meant more time for her and Rama. And she needed that, after the day she'd had. Her pitch with Rama was the only thing that kept her going.

Judit pushed a finger into the sand, swirled the infinite tiny grains into a spiral, and swallowed. They'd done the animals today. She'd hated it. The class had walked up to the field, and Goodmin had roped a cow, shown them how to milk it.

It spun Judit right off kilter. Such a weirdly intimate activity, and then they drank it? Don't you drink milk at home though? Lintie whispered. Yeah, but not like this.

The animals were off spec too. The cow was so human in so many ways. It shook off a fly that tickled its leg; it looked over to the blackhouses when one of the doors banged in the wind. But in other ways it was completely alien. Huge, chewing on nothing, Goodmin pulling on its nipples. Completely inscrutable.

There's not much to do now, in high summer, Goodmin had warned them. But in winter the animals will move from the field to the byre, and their care will take up most of your time.

Judit shuddered even thinking about it. Being totally responsible for something as big and rando as a cow. It was terrifying. The thought had made her stomach uneasy all day.

It hadn't helped that she'd barely eaten. Gaen had left the blackhouse as soon as she got home last night, glowering at her. "There's fish in the pan," was the only thing he'd said, slamming the door behind him.

She hadn't wanted to eat it, to prove something to him, but her resolve didn't last long and, alone in the blackhouse, she'd quickly given in. First she'd tried to eat only tiny bits from round the edge. Then she finally just wolfed it all down, after she realised her nibbling had made it look obviously picked-at. The fish was actually tasty, though it had loads of annoying bones.

Gaen had stayed out again, all night, God knows where. Judit dug her fingers in the sand, wondered for a second if he was hiding out in one of the other blackhouses at night, rubbing up with one of the girls. She doubted it.

To make matters worse, after he'd gone the fire had gone out in the night, so she couldn't make breakfast this morning. Then she was too embarrassed to ask Merle for lunch again, which meant she missed that meal too.

She'd finally seen Gaen again this evening, after lessons, just before she came out to the beach to meet Rama. He'd relit the fire and silently cooked more fish. He didn't even look at her.

While he was cooking, she'd been really stressing out about eating his food. She was too hungry to pretend she didn't want it, but she couldn't stand the thought of his smug face if she did.

Luckily, as soon as the fish was cooked he had slid two of the charred bodies onto an earthenware plate, then picked up the pan with the rest of its contents and headed straight for the door.