Wildlings

55: Four Letter Words

"Judit!" Rama's eyes were wide, glinting in the darkness.

He sounded shocked, but not angry. Maybe even...relieved?... to see her. Did he know? How on earth could he know, this time?

"Rama." Judit was panicking, her eyes fixed on his. What the skit is he doing here?

"What's going on?" Rama said, stepping back, his hands on the wooden rim of the box bed. His voice was low, confused, but also urgent. "Where have you been? Where's Gaen?"

"What are you doing here?" Judit replied, ignoring his questions.

He never came to the village at night. What was he doing here? He's the last person that should have found them. Dean or Goodmin, deciding to check on Gaen. Peasie or Tod, waking up to see Hegri and Lintie had gone, that's what they'd been worried about. Not this. It made no sense at all. Why the skit was he here?

Rama opened his mouth, but it was a moment before he spoke. The fire was low, and Judit could barely see his face in the shadow. She stayed at the entrance to the byre, hands glued to the door, body stiff, her pose mirroring his. The chickens were asleep, and made no noise. Nothing to break the silence.

"I checked on the SpeciesSystem," he said, eventually. "Since I reactivated your chip, after... you went. I've been... I checked occasionally. Just to see..."

He tailed off, his voice awkward, as if he'd been caught doing something he shouldn't. Had he? He kinda had. It was a bit creepy.

If it's creepy, Judit thought, that familiar pull to him slowly seeping back, why does that make me so excited? That he's looking for me, just like I hoped? Her body relaxed slightly on the door. She considered stepping towards him, but didn't.

"So I checked it again tonight. Just to... just to see if you were... okay." Rama went on, still sounding cornered. "And I saw you and Gaen were in the byre. And you were very close, and moving... I mean, that's okay of course." he was defensive. He sounded embarrassed, looked away. "Then you walked up to the woods, and were close, and moving again, and then you...."

He turned slightly to the side, his eyes on the broken line where the rough wall met the earthen floor.

"We have a thing in the nanochips that responds to heartrate, so we know when an anim- so we know when something or someone has... if something passes away. The dot turns grey. And your dot turned grey. I was terrified. His was there, and yours was grey, right next to it. I didn't know what had happened. I was scared. So I came here straight away."

"You came to save me?" Judit said. She felt like there was a sun in her stomach, warming her insides. She stepped towards him, into the blackhouse. She wanted to see his face.

"Well, not really." He still sounded guilty, and a bit doubtful. "I mean, if that were the case, I'd be too late."

Judit didn't reply. She sat down on the bench, so the fire was between them. They stayed as they were for a long time, him by the bed, her on the bench, her looking at him, him looking at the wall. Eventually, he stepped forward, came and sat down too, leaving a respectable distance between them.

"Did you report it? To anyone else?" Judit said, looking into the fire. She felt too shy to look at him now that he was closer, in the light.

"No." He leaned forward, elbows on his knees, hands glowing, lit up by the flames. "It's all very soon, after what happened the other night. I wanted to check that something was wrong before I... I didn't want to implicate either of us. Mostly myself," he added, bitterly.