~Andy's POV~
College was today, I was so incredibly nervous. But, yesterday, Devin and his boyfriend had shown me around the college, showed me where my classes would be and what not, so that was nice of them. I was glad that I'd managed to make friends; I thought I was going to be that guy that sat by himself at lunch, walked around by himself and didn't talk to anyone in class. That would have been awkward.
I'd gotten up early and showered, done my hair and my makeup. My hair was just poofed up and hair sprayed to hell to make it stay like that. Then my makeup was just black smudged eyeliner. I figured that would do, and I didn't feel like doing an overly complicated design just for classes. Now I was trying to choose what to wear, so far I had on a pair of womens panties- because I knew I would be wearing skinny jeans and they work better to keep my junk from looking awkward. I pulled out a pair of skinnies, black of course. I had them specially made because of my long legs; I put them on and shuddered, rubbing my arms as I stared blankly at all the shirts in my closet. I ended up taking out a long sleeved, off one shoulder Motley shirt, so I put that on then pulled on my black cardigan like hoodie zipper and put on my black military style boots. Sorted.
Next I shoved a couple of notebooks into my backpack, the lecturers will tell us what we have to buy, I'm assuming, so I'll take notes in these for the moment being. I slung my backpack over my shoulders and headed out into the main part of the room I shared with Ashley.
"Hey sweet thang, want some breakfast?" Ashley asked, looking at me from the table. He was dressed and he looked so fucking hot, I nearly drooled but I managed to keep myself together.
"No, I'm good..." I trailed off and paused a moment, "I, I'm uh, going now, bye..." I muttered before walking out of the room and heading down the hall. I think Devin and Ricky would have already left so I just walked by myself, head down. I could feel myself growing more anxious as I walked towards classes, and I don't know why I felt so nervous, it wasn't like me to feel nervous over going to classes, but I feel incredibly anxious and nervous so I have no idea what is wrong with me.
Maybe it was because of Ashley and how he'd been acting towards me lately, or maybe it was the fact that I was at a new place and had yet to get used to the buildings and the timetable. I have no idea. Well, I'm just going to have to put up with it- thank fuck I don't have to do sports, that'd be awkward. But I am going to go to the gym often, may as well make use of a free gym membership, it would help keep me skinny and sort of attractive looking.
I arrived to class on time and said good morning to the lecturer, she smiled at me and we greeted each other- told each other our names. I was one of the first here, there were just a few other kids who looked very studious. The lecturer's name was Alison Carter, she seemed nice.
Now, I chose my seat near the back of the classroom, backrow, I figured it would be a nicer seat, also it may calm my almost crippling anxiety, no one would be able to stare at the back of my head and whisper things. I'm paranoid, that's high school bullshit, but... I can't help but be cautious. I mean, something could happen and I'll be prepared that way because I overthink every little thing.
The room filled with more people until almost all the desks were occupied, Ashley was in this class. He was sat a row in front of me, down to the side a little, he'd seen me when he came in, and he looked right at me. But he was talking to his friends; they seemed like assholes, a bunch of rowdy guys that liked drinking and fucking girls. That's what I got from the look of them, and how they were all acting. It seemed as though they hadn't grown up since high school happened.
The lecture started, the class was English, I'd taken it as I figured it would be useful and I enjoyed the class during my time at high school. Plus, it was writing, I loved writing. The lecturer got us to write down various notes, showed us what books we should get to help us study and write our various assignments and essays. I would have to get a job and save up, the books were expensive and I wouldn't ask my parents to try and afford it.
I could probably get a job at that coffee shop or something, I liked coffee shops, I liked serving people, and I could make good coffee anyways. I practically lived off of coffee and green tea, I figured it wouldn't make me put on weight either.
The lecture finished so I shoved my notebook back into my bag and stood up, making my way out of the room and then down the hall, but of course on the way those boys all shoved me into a wall- and fuck it hurt... I looked up to see none other than Ashley Purdy and his gang of friends, what luck.
"Hey, Biersack, watch where you're going." Ashley snapped at me, kicking me in the shin. I didn't even say anything, I learned that that was the best way to deal with it, just stay silent and they'll get bored and leave you alone. It worked before, it should work now, I hope.
The group of boys walked off after that, leaving me just sitting on the floor, lucky me, I didn't have another lecture for an hour, and then after that was the lunch hour, I would have to try and find Devin and his friends before then... hopefully I would manage to do that, if not I'll end up eating alone somewhere probably. That's always a very fun thing to do- not.
I got up though, I made my way to the library and sat at a computer, I searched up job openings, and lucky me, there was an open job for washing and serving at that very coffee shop I'd been at the other day, so I sent them an email asking if they were still looking and that I would love to work for them, I left my phone number too. I really hope I get this job; I'm going to need it.
It was coming up time to head to the next lecture; it was music next so I headed there quickly so I'd be there on time. I stood outside and checked my phone for any texts or notifications, I had next to none, except for this blog I ran on Tumblr about depression and anorexia, I wanted others to get better, yet I didn't help myself any.
I got into the room and found a seat quickly near the front this time, I would try and get out of my comfort zone, I wanted to do it, maybe build my confidence some. I loved music as well, it had kept me feeling happy during some really down, dark times, so I had vowed to stick by music in times of sorrow, and it seemed to help.
More expensive books were added to the list of compulsory items in order to pass my years at college, this was going to be difficult to afford, but I would find a way, even if I had to do things I didn't want to, I would get them. I wanted so badly to make something out of myself, I wouldn't be left in the dark. I was going to be big, I would be important. I would be someone that isn't me.
AN:
It's moving forward, more stuff is going to happen from now on, he is now actually doing things with his life, things can go up or down.
~Jinxxthejinxxer ^,..,^
