//Trigger Warning later on
~Andy's POV~
The next day in college, it felt like everyone was talking about me, people kept looking at me and laughing to themselves. I didn't know what I'd done, I'd checked my face multiple times in the mirror to check that there wasn't anything stupid on me. I didn't realise what it was that people were laughing about until I was stood round the corner of a group of people. They were talking about me and I could hear them.
"He's such a slut, he's sleeping with Ashley- I heard he's slept with a whole bunch of guys." I heard them laugh, "That's disgusting- I bet he's ridden with STD's, better stay away from that weird emo kid."
My heart stopped in my chest, no.. I couldn't deal with that. I didn't like having sex a lot, and I've been checked, I don't have any STD's. After I'd been raped countless times one of the first things I'd done was get checked. I was fine, luckily.
Ashley must have told his friends that I was a slut and that I'd had tons of guys in my bedroom with me when that was a complete lie. This was highschool stuff, he's so immature and so are half the people here. I'm so done with college already.
I hung my head low and kept to myself as I made my way to class, I sat in the back and kept my hood up, taking notes as I had to, doing the homework at the same time so I would have less to do later. I wanted to do good in my classes- I would have to try and avoid speaking to Ashley as much as I could. Maybe that way the rumours would stop and I would be left alone again, no friends.
Lunch was boring, I sat by myself outside in the cold and just watched the traffic go by. I had no friends, no one to talk to, and no one wanted to even go near me now. I almost wanted to cry, but I knew I couldn't, not right now, I could let it all out later in my room. I need to find an addiction to take my mind off of all the awful feelings stirring up a storm inside my head. I felt like I was going to explode.
The day passed by, myself being avoided like the plague in the hallways but I didn't say anything, didn't look at anyone, I just stayed quiet. I was good at blending in in highschool, but apparently I wasn't here. Here I was in the spotlight almost.
I got back to the dorm after visiting the library where I'd picked up some books to help me with my subjects. Maybe I could try and study instead of dwelling on how shitty and alone I felt.
Ashley was sitting on the sofa, watching TV with a beer in his hand. I don't know how he got that- he's not of age and neither am I. But I guess he probably has friends that were willing to get him alcohol. "Hey Andy." He hummed, looking round at me.
I didn't reply, I just looked away and went straight into my bedroom, slamming the door behind myself. I hate him so much, I hate him, I love him... Why was he so awful to me? Why did he feel the need to spread rumours like those? I thought I was free of highschool drama.
I sat down on my bed and took my bag off, tears welled up in my eyes and soon I was a sobbing mess, hunched over as I cried. Why did this have to happen to me? Why was I an unstable wreck? I just wanted to forget the past and move forwards but that wasn't happening, not anymore.
My hands scrambled for my razors after the thoughts had pushed me so far past the edge that I just wanted them to stop, I wanted to stop falling, I wanted to calm down.
I slit my wrists, feeling the blood run down my forearms and drip onto my jeans, my breath was shaky, and I felt lightheaded but I was smiling. Maybe this was an overreaction to the rumours, but I was already mentally unstable and alone, there was nothing to stop me from doing this anymore. I was a mess, I had made a mess.
"Fuck.." I whispered, my arms wouldn't stop bleeding and I felt so close to passing out. I wondered if I'd hit a vein- but I couldn't have, I was careful, right? Maybe death wouldn't be such a bad thing.. I could get away from all of this and be free.
My head was spinning and I collapsed backwards, breath coming out in short gasps. I didn't really want to die- my parents would be so mad at me, I couldn't die yet. I managed to drag myself off of my bed and grab a towel, my hands shaking as I tried my best to cover the wounds that were spilling the dark red liquid.
"Ashley!" I shouted, my voice breaking, I didn't want him, but I needed help, it wasn't stopping. My lip shook and I began to cry all over again, it stung bad, and I was so scared.
He opened the door, "What- what the fuck?" He looked shocked to see the blood seeping through the towels. "Andy-" he grabbed his phone and dialled 911, he knelt in front of me, talking to the operator, he seemed so worried. His voice sounded so far away, I felt like my body was giving up on me, it was done with me abusing it so badly.
"Ashley- I'm.. I can't stay awake.." I sobbed, my eyes drooping as I tried my hardest to focus on him, "Help.." I cried.
"Andy, keep your eyes open, please, they'll be here in a second, please stay with me, you can do it." He was begging me, applying pressure with the towels to my arms.
"I'm sorry Ashley.." I gasped out, my head falling forwards as my mind blacked out. Maybe this was it, maybe I was dying. This is what I got for trying to calm down, for trying to get over my past.
AN:// Oh well whoops?
I hurt Andy bad, he's feeling shit.
vote, comment, tell me what you thought! I hope you.. Enjoyed it?
~Jinxxthejinxxer ^,..,^
