~Andy's POV~
I could hear a faint beeping to my left, I don't know what it was, but I wanted it to stop. I tried to open my eyes but it felt like they were glued shut. I couldn't move either, it felt like I was strapped down, stuck in place, trapped and I felt claustrophobic but I couldn't do anything to make it stop. I didn't like this. I heard footsteps outside then the sound of a door opening. Whatever it was was heading towards me and I couldn't do anything to get away from it. I was stuck here, awaiting whatever they would do to me.
"Oh my god Andy.." A voice sounded, they sounded sad, but why would they be sad? What was wrong? Was it my fault? I recognised the voice but I couldn't place a face to it no matter how hard I tried. "This is all my fault.." Their voice seemed to break. I felt a rough hand take my own, holding onto my cold hand. They felt warm in comparison to myself, I was freezing but I couldn't do anything to stop that, I just had to endure it. I was panicking, the beeping was speeding up as I tried to move, to open my eyes.
"I didn't know this would happen, fuck.. I'm so sorry Andy." The voice whispered, it sounded like they were crying now. "You almost died.. Because of me and my stupid ass feelings." I felt a weight in the bed beside me. The grip on my hand tightened and I was forced to listen to the boy crying beside me. I couldn't do anything to comfort him.
"I regret spreading those rumours, it was so people didn't think I liked you.. But I do, I really like you, I can't help it. You're gorgeous.." My fingers twitched as I tried my hardest to move, to open my eyes again. But I still couldn't. "I hope you'll forgive me Andy, I am truly sorry.." I still was very confused about who this boy was that was crying beside my bed, saying that it was his fault I almost died?
"I called your parents, they can't come down.." the voice told me quietly, "But they asked me to keep giving them updates on how you're doing, and if your condition worsens, that they will come down to see you."
Suddenly everything came rushing back to me. Everything that had happened to bring me to this point, to the point of near death. I had slept with that boy- Ashley Purdy. He had spread a rumour about me being a slut which I now knew was to mask his feelings for me. I had accidentally attempted suicide in my distress to calm down from the hysterical mess I had been. I was a forgiving person though, I wanted to forgive Ashley. I just wanted him to love me like I loved him. He would make me happy again, I hope. I think I deserved happiness after all I'd been through during my life so far. I'd been near death countless times due to drugs and now this.
I tried my hardest again to wake up, to open my eyes and I managed it, my eyes opened but the light was blinding, they shut immediately again. It felt like my eyes were burning.
"Andy? Oh my god- are you awake?" Ashley asked me, I couldn't tell what the emotion was behind his voice, excitement? Sadness?
I let out a small groan, my voice was weak and I needed a drink. I felt weak, I could barely move still, even though I was awake now. I slowly opened my eyes again, squinting as my eyes got used to the bright lights. "Ow.." I whispered. My lips hurt, it felt like they were chapped. I felt lifeless.
"Andy!" Ashley squeezed my hand, "Andy- please look at me, I'm sorry.." He begged me, it was overwhelming, but I did it. I looked at him, I smiled a little.
"Hey Ash.." I coughed, a little. "Sit up.." I muttered. He seemed to get the message because he made the bed tilt so I was sitting up the way. "I could hear you.." I mumbled to him, looking at him. I'm sure I looked like shit, I felt like shit.
"You could?" He bit his lip, "You heard all that then.." He sighed. "I'm sorry, I guess I didn't want to admit my feelings, it was really childish of me."
I nodded, "Yeah, it was very childish and immature.. But.. I didn't even mean to do this." I admitted quietly, "It was an accident." I reached shakily for the water beside my bed.
"Hey- I'll get that." Ashley picked up the cup and held it to my lips, helping me to sip on the water so my throat didn't hurt as bad. "Better..?" He hummed, smiling a little at me.
"Yeah, I guess.. Thanks." I sat up a little more. "How long was I out for?" I asked, glancing down at the gashes on my arms. They were scabbed over already.
"A week? I only just managed to come see you today. You missed a week of classes and an essay deadline, but it's fine, I spoke to all your teachers and told them what was happening." Ashley started talking to me like nothing had happened, he didn't mention the fact that he liked me and I wondered if we would dance around this for the next week.
"Thanks Ash." I sighed, I didn't mention the attraction we obviously had. I would leave it up to Ashley to mention it, otherwise I knew I'd end up feeling hurt.
I couldn't believe it had been a week since my accidental suicide attempt, but maybe things would go up from here. Maybe I'd actually get together with Ashley, maybe I'd be happy for once. I can only hope though.
AN:// I had this entire chapter written then Wattpad deleted it all, I'm so pissed off at it. ☹ but here, I wrote it out again...
Edited.
~Jinxxthejinxxer ^,..,^
