Fuck Boy

T W E L V E - Why

I sigh as the lecture seems to be going on for hours, even if it's only been an hour and a half. I glance up at the clock again, only a minute left. I used to like university, but now that every one knows that my ex boyfriend abused me and people think it's fine to ask and remind me about that time. I hate it. I can't wait to get home to Dan. He makes me feel so happy. Well, obviously a lot happier than Michael made me. I need to let Michael go.

I unlock my door and put down my bag, running my hands through my hair. I shut the door again and realise there's an unfamiliar scent in the house. Then, my heart sinks. I hear a moan from down the hall, and it's not Dan. No, no, no, please, no. I love him, please don't make this real. I walk slowly down the hall, a lump forming in my throat as I see clothes lining the hall, down to my bedroom. Why? I hesitantly open the door. Dan is under a blonde boy, who is tiny compared to me. I try to say something, but nothing comes out. Instead, I turn, slamming the door, earning a gasp from Dan and the boy. Tears roll down my face, my chest heavy and hurting. He said he wouldn't hurt me! I get outside my apartment, then stumble; my knees giving away. I hit the ground and sob. Quickly, I sit up and shuffle back against the wall, hiding my head in my hands.
"Phil." I hear Dan's soft voice say.
"Why, Dan?" I cry. I stand up quickly and push past Dan, who is only in his jeans. The blonde boy is quickly shoving on his clothes. Rage bubbles up inside me.
"Get out, now." I growl, the 'nice Phil' gone. He stammers, making me clench my fists. "Out!" He jumps into action, scampering past Dan and I and out the door. I close it after him and turn to Dan, wiping a tear away from cheek.
"Phil, I'm sorry." Dan slurs, guilt swimming in his eyes. From here I can smell the alcohol on his breath.

"Phil, I'm sorry, baby, it won't happen again." Michael slurs. I clutch my bruised cheek from where he hit me. He places his hand over mine and smiles warmly. I know he's still drunk. I shouldn't go back, but I'm terrified of him. Tears well up in my eyes, so Michael hugs me, letting me cry into his shoulder.

I whimper at the memory. Dan goes to help me, but I shake my head and put my hand up.
"Don't. Don't come near me." I whimper, blinking away the tears.
"Please, listen to me. You know I can't control myself when I'm drunk." Dan says.
"That's no excuse! Why did you even get drunk in the first place? And how long have you been cheating on me?" I question, my head spinning with the memories.
"I don't know. Only a couple of weeks. I'm so sorry."
"Am I not enough? Is that why you were so jumpy when I asked if you though of cheating on me?"
"No, Phil, you're all I could ever dream of. And yes, because I hated myself for doing it to you."
"Then why, Dan? Because I thought you could change! I fucking believed in you! I love you!" I yell.
"Because it's who I am! I tried not to hurt you, but I told you! I told you not to fall in love with me!" Dan shouts back. I look up and see tears streaming down his cheeks. Then he wipes his cheeks and smirks at me, straightening up, dropping a façade. "You know what, fuck this bullshit. I don't love you. I don't love. Everything I've done is for sex. I didn't mean to do it to an abuse victim, but I'll take whatever's thrown at me." Dan slurs. "Wait, no! I didn't mean that." My chest tightens and I'm overwhelmed by anger and melancholy.
"Get out." I whisper.
"No, Phil, please, I didn't mean it. I'm drunk for god's sake, I can't help it." Dan begs.
"I need to get the memories out my head and try to think of a way to trust you again, which I don't think I can." I say quietly. I see Dan flinch before nodding.
"Okay." He sighs before finding a top and walking to the door. I stand up and follow him. "I'm sorry. I love you."
"Please leave." I bite my lip. Dan walks out the door, looking at me before shutting my door. As soon as the door shuts, I sink to my knees and let out a loud sob. I don't want him to go, but the things he said... Even if he is drunk, that's not something you would say and act like you mean it and then say you didn't mean it. I wish I could get over him quickly.

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//CLOSED SORRY\\
Ooo... So I think this is a good time to do an 'ask the character', so just comment either next to who you want to ask a question or put in the comments 'character - question' :)

Dan

Phil

Amy

Blonde boy (the boy who Dan cheated on Phil with)

Michael

Me :D

I'll be closing the 'ask the character' a week after I post this (24/12/16)