RAISON D'ÊTRE ( bucky barnes ) 一 under editing

EIGHTH

RAISON D'ÊTRE
EIGHTH

2014
SHE WISHED SHE COULD SAY the memory wipings had stopped. That Pierce and HYDRA all had a change of heart, and decided to actually take Rome's advice and stop destroying his mind, fracturing it again and again until there was nothing left. But of course, they never even considered listening to the witch, and continued with it. She had always fought back, kicking and screaming and demanding that they stop but by the eleventh time, she had stopped. As much as it broke her heart, no amount of empty threats and tears would bring this to an end. And in the years that followed, Rome had tried hundreds of times to try and bring back any other memories besides herself back. But the memories of his past 一 the ones of home and family and love, the ones that made him... well, him 一 were too far out of reach, locked within vaults within vaults. She was lucky that her spell was only to bring back the recent memories, but that was about it. Nothing else could change it, no matter how much she tried. She had tried it again and again, struggling to reach as far back into his darkened mind as possible, but each time she thought she was close to succeeding, it would all go up in flames the moment they wiped him and she'd be sent to square one all over again.

Rome always managed to bring back something, no matter how small it was. Sometimes it was a small fragment of a memory, like how the fluorescent light reflected from green speckled eyes, or it was everything all at once. That's how Rome always appeared in the soldier's memories 一 in fragments. He couldn't form full and exact memories of her, but he liked the way she made him feel. Like he was worth more than the weapon he was designed to be. He'd remember little outbursts of her laughter, the way it sounded like wind chimes in the wind, or how when her hands touched him, he nearly begged for her to do it again so he could relish in her touch. No amount of memory wipings could ever erase the way he felt when she was around. It was hard to explain, but each time, Rome would bring back a shared memory of theirs, it came back so shattered, like a puzzle he could just barely manage to piece together.

And the feelings they felt towards one another could be seen clear as day. Rome liked going to see him the next time, and in the beginning, she greatly believed it was because he was someone she could call a friend. Someone to just help her pass the time and forget this unending nightmare. Now she knew better. But for her to admit her feelings in a place like was dangerous; Pierce already threatened them if they didn't do their jobs, swearing to even harm the other if they failed. If the Winter Soldier failed in hunting this person down or assassinating this person, there'd be punishments lined up and ready for Rome. And if Rome didn't do her assignments, Pierce promised that her and her soldier would only be in a world of hurt. Love in a place like HYDRA was a danger.

When he finally came back to the base (even after all these years, she refused to call this hellhole a home), Rome had made him sit down and asked him about it. She knew that it had something to do with Nick Fury, the director of S.H.I.E.L.D., for she had been ordered to track him down. It was fairly easy, and she knew that once she found him, her soldier would eliminate him. These past few missions, she started to realize that Pierce wasn't trying to be vague about them or their missions anyone.

The door opened, and Rome tossed a glare over her shoulder as Pierce stood in the open doorway. He always had a knack for walking in at the most inopportune times. "No," she said, cutting him off before he could open his mouth. Rome stood up from her kneeling position on the ground, crossing her arms over her chest. "He just got back. Let him have his rest before you ship him halfway across the world. Again."

Pierce gave her a sly grin, one that sent shivers down her spine. "You won't have to worry about him, Miss Kingsmill," he said, "because you are going with him."