RAISON D'ÊTRE ( bucky barnes ) 一 under editing

SIXTEENTH

RAISON D'ÊTRE
SIXTEENTH

THERE WERE VERY FEW TIMES in her life where Rome had gotten very drunk. She'd been tipsy before several times, of course, but never enough to where she could barely remember parts of the night and her words were so terribly slurred and she could giggle as she counted her toes. So when she awoke that morning and felt an intense pain residing in her skull before she opened her eyes, she knew she'd made a mistake last night. Sure, drinking did help them open up a bit and get them to relax, forgetting the past several days, but in the end, was it worth it? 

She slowly eased her eyes open and immediately regret it. While the curtains in front of her remained shut, the sudden brightness of the room felt much too bright for her tired eyes. The witch squeezed her eyes shut, tossing one of her arms over her face and let out a small groan. A sigh fell past her lips and she slowly rolled onto her back. Vaguely, she remembered asking Bucky to stay with her and she'd clung to him tightly, but there was no sign of him anywhere in the bed. 

"Good morning." Tilting her head, very slowly peeking her eyes open, Rome spotted Bucky sitting on the sofa chair in the corner, a paper cup of coffee settled in his hands. He was eyeing her slyly, wielding a tiny grin as he asked, "How did you sleep?"

"Not as well as I would have liked." Rome managed to push herself up, groaning with each movement. She swung her legs over the edge of the bed and held her head in her hands. "Would you like to tell me what happened last night?" 

"We drank, talked, then I had to carry you down the street," Bucky explained with a tiny chuckle, and Rome groaned in embarrassment. He'd never seen the witch like this. Before it'd always been business, working and hunting as HYDRA's little playthings, but he'd found it entertaining to see Rome let loose and act much more relaxed than he'd ever seen. Bucky wondered how many people got to see that side of her, if he was the only one. "Thank you, again... for last night. I... I really needed that."

Rome's eyes tilted up to look him in the eye, and she smiled. "I think I did too." She sat up straight, wincing upon hearing her back crack. She watched as Bucky stood up from the chair, moving to place something from his pocket onto the bedside table.

"I got you something." Metallic fingers placed a tiny white bottle on the wooden surface, and Rome smiled when she realized it was a bottle of aspirin. A glass of water was already there, and she was curious as to how long Bucky had prepared for this. 

"Thank you," she said. After quickly down two of the pills along with a large gulpful of water, Rome turned to look at him and crossed her legs. "Please tell me I didn't do something stupid that I will most likely regret." While she knew that if she were to be drunk, she wouldn't be so embarrassing and ridiculous such as her cousin Aline (she'd remembered several times where she had to force Aline's clothes back on her), Rome wouldn't be surprised if a few silly secrets passed through her loose lips. 

Bucky looked down at himself, glad that his hair was long enough to shield his hot cheeks. Even after Rome had fallen asleep on his chest, Bucky had stayed with her. He'd felt comfortable enough to fall asleep next to her, happier than he'd felt in a long time. "No," he said quickly, "I would have stopped you if you tried anything." But he knew that a lie 一 if Rome had kissed him right then and there, he wouldn't have been able to stop himself. 

Wobbling as she stood, Rome cleared her throat. "I think I'm going to take a bath," she declared quietly. She was still dressed in the previous night's clothes and she hadn't showered. The blonde walked around the bed and pulled out a few articles of clothing before disappearing into the bathroom.

∞  ∞  ∞

The water felt warm against her skin, and Rome hummed as she leaned back against the tub. Her knees were pressed to her chest, knees poking out above the water like two little islands. She raised one of her hands and watched as water dripped down one of her long fingers, splashing quietly against the bath water. Her hair was soaked, sticking to her neck and back. There were a few bubbles floating atop the surface, but she didn't bother popping them.

Outside, she could hear Bucky walking around in their room, his feet padding against the hardwood floor. Sometimes she'd hear something off in the distance 一 the sound of the sink turning on and off, the TV playing something quietly, the chirping of birds as they played their musical tune.

"Don't you fucking do it!" Aline had growled, eyes glowing that familiar golden color and fists clenched tightly at her sides. The brunette had seen better days, and she could tell from the frizzled hair and bags under her eyes, that Aline hadn't slept in a long while. But of course how could she sleep?  It'd only been days since Madelaine was killed. "Rome, don't you fucking do it! You walk out that door then, then don't even bother coming back!"

The sudden flash of the memory left as quickly as it came, and Rome shuddered. She didn't know why it appeared and why it had to be that of all memories. The two girls hadn't spoken in years, decades even, and still the moment remained so fresh in her head. Rome hadn't meant to hurt Aline like that, especially in her greatest moment of weakness, but she had no choice. Aline had always been a troubled child, but losing someone like Madelaine, a soulmate, it would send anyone off the deep end. Aline had nearly gone ballistic since her death, and there'd been so much blood. Their love had been written in the stars themselves, they had loved each other so terribly, and Aline would have sacrificed everything to be with her again. Perhaps that what it became in the end; a desperate attempt, as if hurting all those people would bring her back.

Rome had always envied a love like theirs. Despite their relationship not being accepted by the public at the time, Rome had always thought them to be beautiful. She envied the thought to call someone her very own, to be with someone who understood her inside and out and didn't judge her for her past. She wanted to be able to kiss someone whenever she wanted simply because she could. She wanted all those precious moments 一 secret glances and stolen kisses and handholds and loving hugs, she wanted it all. But Rome had never been able to bare her soul to someone like that before. There'd been the occasional fling here and there, but no one truly hers; all of them ended so quickly. In her thousand years of life, Rome had never been able to love someone so deeply as Aline and Madelaine had loved one another. 

She'd been so jealous of Aline when she got her soulmate mark. The day it happened, Aline had shot up from her chair and nearly screeched as she ran around their house, pointing at the dark words across her ribcage. The brunette girl had been so excited, so in love with the idea of love, and Rome had supported her entirely. But yet again, Rome had felt that dark pit of jealousy arise in her chest; how come it had been Aline of all people to get it? Why had it been her? Hadn't Rome been good and kind enough? Didn't she have someone destined to be hers?

Rome leaned back against the tub, let out a long brutal sigh, and stared towards the ceiling.

A/N: just a reminder in case you missed
it in a previous author's note, i have included 
soulmates but it is considered a rare thing to 
have so don't be surprised if it's not mentioned
a whole lot!!