The Only Thing That Matters

Prologue

 I hurt.

 My head was pounding and I had this strange pain down under that I had never experienced before. I smiled as I thought back to last night. Blake and I drank multiple shots and down multiple glasses. I won a game of beer pong, laughing as Blake and his friends grew more drunk by the minute.

 Those hands. I giggled as I remembered the way his hands held me, how they worked their magic. It was the best I had ever had, and now as I laid on the bed, staring up at the ceiling, I drifting back into the night before, I realized that I loved him. I loved him more than life itself. He completed me.

 It was then I realized he wasn't present. Figuring he had gone to the kitchen to make up some home remedy for his hangover - he had an extremely low tolerance - I grabbed my robe to cover my naked body and headed for the kitchen. I checked rooms on the way down the hall of my small apartment to make sure he wasn't passed out anywhere.

 I reached the kitchen and it was oddly silent. No sign of life hung about the kitchen this morning like usually did every other morning when Blake slept over. I turned around to see if the coffee pot was brewing. The lights were off and there wasn't any sound of life within it.

 I suddenly got a strange feeling. He never left without saying goodbye. Then I noticed the folded up paper resting upon the marble countertop. I slowly walked over to the counter and opened the letter.

 Tears stung my eyes. How could anyone be so immature? Cowardly? I read the words in front of me multiple times, leaning against the wall in the hallway and sliding down until my butt reached the floor in a thud.

 Was this really happening?

 I clutched the note in my hand and the tears fell from my eyes, running down my cheeks. It hurt. It really freaking hurt. I had never been so crushed in my life. I guess this is what this feels like, being dumped. And through a letter?

 He didn't even have the balls to face me. I can't believe I fell for him. Everything, and now he has left me with nothing, nothing but this stupid letter, a pounding head, sore lower half, and a broken heart. I guess you never know what people are really like, ever.

Isbell,

 I wanted to tell you in person, but I couldn't. I knew you would beg me to stay, knowing I would and I really don't want to. I can't handle commitment and I didn't want you to try to convince me. I don't want it. I hate it. I know this is very low on my behalf, leaving you this note when I know once you read this you'll fall to pieces. You should know that I do care for you, but not enough to commit to a life long relationship. No, this is not about the sex, do not even think about it. I just don't want to take things to the next level and usually after sex, that's what girls do, right? Please don't ask where I have gone, no one knows. Please don't wait for me. I'm not coming back. Find someone who really cares about commitment and will want what you want.

 Take care,

Blake