The Only Thing That Matters

Chapter 10

  We pulled up to my mother’s house, Kayden in the backseat. She was fast asleep, having been woken up at six this morning. I unbuckled her carseat and lifted her out, cradling her close. Today was making me nervous.

 It was court day. Today would determine if I was able to keep Kayden or not. Today would determine where I would be tomorrow. Today determined a whole bunch of things. And that scared me most of all.

 I walked up the front steps to my parents’ house and rang the doorbell. I kept Kayden cradled close and I could feel her drool fall onto my shoulder. I kissed her forehead as I waited for someone to open the door.

 It was a cool morning and it matched the mood. The sun was still rising, yet it was hidden behind the clouds making the morning look gloomy. How appropriate. There were no happy sounds of birds chirping or frogs crocking in the nearby pond. It was silent. It made me feel even more anxious than before.

 The front door opened and Mona stepped out. She was wrapped in a robe and was sporting a pair of cheetah house shoes. She looked as if she had just woken up, hair knotted into a bun and make up smeared from the night before. She gave me a sly smile before opening her arms to accept Kayden. I placed her in Mona’s arms, kissing her cheek once more before letting go. My heart started to pick up.

 “Good luck,” Mona whispered.

 I nodded before waving goodbye and leaving the steps. I walked back to the car and crawled in. I watched as Mona cuddled Kayden closer, no doubt having the same feelings I was, and closed the door behind her. I was separated from my daughter, which sickened me. I prayed that I would only be separated from her for a couple hours and not days. God forbid if Blake ended up with her.

 The drive to the courthouse was the longest drive of my life. I kept thinking scenarios out in my head, what I would do if the judge ruled in either favor. The whole drive, I prayed that it would be in mine.

 I arrived at the courthouse, the pale white, outer walls taunting me. I could see Ryan planted outside the courthouse, waiting patiently for me to arrive. Blake and Teresa weren’t much farther behind, pulling up beside me, flashing me a devious smile before landing each other a kiss. I rolled my eyes, grabbed my purse, and exited my vehicle. I met Ryan at the front and he gave me a reassuring smile.

 “We’ll be fine,” I promised. I looked over at him graciously. It was the only thing I had to hold onto, those words. They gave me hope.

 We filed into the court room, the judge not in sight. The patrol officer was planted at the front of the room, between the witness stand and the pulpit, watching as citizens entered the room. I followed close behind Ryan, walking through the gate and to the front left table.

 I gulped, sitting down in the far left chair, as far away from Blake and Teresa as possible. Ryan placed his suitcase down on the table, unlocking it and rummaging through it to find what he needed for his case. I glanced around, catching eye with Madison, who was seated in third the row from the back. She glanced over at me, giving me a half-smile.

 “Good luck,” she mouthed. I gave her a nervous smile back before turning back around to face the front. I folded my hands in my lap and pressed them between my knees, hoping to stop the nerves from intruding any longer.