BLACKOUT [jason todd] OLD VERSION!

[6]: the king of assholes

[THE KING OF ASSHOLES]

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JASON WOKE UP TO A WORLD OF HURT.

His head throbbed so badly he winced. There was a crick in his neck and he felt utterly disgusting.
He could hear music, which was really weird because he lived alone.

Jason looked around and made an astounding observation;
he was not in his apartment.
It was a lot brighter; blue couch, a red throw chair, and a coffee table. The walls were brick, unlike his plaster ones, and there were even paintings.

"What the fuck," He grumbled.

The noise was really annoying and super fucking loud. The song was probably the most obnoxious in the world; Sweet Caroline by Neil Diamond.
That song was a fucking abomination. So was the sun. It was too damn bright.
All of it made his head pulse painfully.

Slowly, because at any faster pace he might puke, he sat up.
Jason could smell breakfast cooking which caused his stomach to growl.
He patted it apologetically.
Jason turned to the smell and horrible music, and—

You've got to be kidding me.

He should have known, honestly.
The universe hated him, so of course this was going to happen.
He'd seen the back of her several times, but never in a tank top.
Jason had always thought the whole 'shoulders being distracting' thing was a load of bullshit, yet when they're covered in freckles, a whole fucking galaxy of freckles, he can understand why.
Or in shorts. That showed toned legs.
And a great ass.

It took him maybe ten seconds to look away from all— that— and focus on the color of this person's hair. And height. And annoying off-key voice while she sing an even more annoying song.
It took maybe ten more seconds for reality to hit him and realize;
holy shit that's Sadie!

He gaped and took in the sight three more times. His mind was screaming: 'abort, abort, abort!' because this was awful. God fucking awful.
Out of all the places, of course, he would end up here.
The real question was; how did he end up here? Jason tried to remember.
He could recall Roy. And beer.
But no Sadie. Not at all.
(How could he forget about her?)

"Hey, you're up!"
He looked back at in the kitchen and—
she was grinning at him.
Jason swallowed.

"Hey," Jason said and stood up, shakily.
His ears began ringing so loudly he grew dizzy. He was pretty sure his stomach was trying to crawl up his throat, too.
He flopped back down shamefully and held his face in hands.

"No, no. Don't get up." She called and he could hear cabinets slamming.
The faucet running.
The music volume lowered.
Feet pattered against the floor and he felt the couch cushion beside him sink.
Jason pulled his hands away from his face to see Sadie holding two aspirins and cup of water because she was an actual goddess. He made a promise to himself that he will worship her properly later when doesn't feel like puking every time he takes a breath.