Tsunami Shorts (Kehlani One Shots)

him

I felt his hips buck underneath me, signaling me to ride him harder.

"Fuck, Lani, please..s-stop...ughhh.." Chance growled while throwing his head back into the pillows.

The old headboard banged viciously against the bedroom wall that connects us and our neighbors.

I knew that Chancelor and I would find yet another handwritten complaint from our neighbors slid perfectly underneath our old wooden apartment door.

As I continued to aggressively ride Chance into oblivion, I went numb.

I loved when I went numb during our sex sometimes because it allowed me to be in control of him. It's like an out of body experience.

Looking down at his scrunched up face, watching the sweat drip from is forehead down to our soft cotton pillows, and feeling his rough cold hands grip my waist as he thrusts into me further and further with each stroke drives me mad.

Is it alarming that I like to hear him beg? To know that he is at my mercy and to hear him moan my name ignites a fire inside of me that runs all the way from my fingertips to my toes.

I know that I'm the only one that can make him say my name. Im the only one in the world who can truly fuck him senseless and still have him begging me for more when it's all over.

That turns me on. That gets me off.

After a short while, I felt Chance's warm, sticky, love inside of me which made me smile a content smile that would soon fade away once I realized that a child would not be born after nine months.

Chance tells me all the time not blame myself for not being fertile, but who else is to blame? It breaks my heart that I'll never be able to give Chance a precious baby that would look just like him.

He always says that if we had a child he would want a baby girl that looked just like me.

"I want a lil princess to keep my queen company," he always says.

I can't help but smile when he says those things to me.

Sadly he doesn't say them too often anymore because he knows how badly it breaks my heart and I know it tears him apart at times too.

Our new kittens will never replace children, but I'm sure they will keep us happily busy for the time being.

As I felt Chance leave me, I slowly exhaled and laid on his firm chest. I missed him every time I felt him leave me.

He was never close enough.

I could be snuggling with him listening to his heartbeat and a part of me will always long to be closer to him.

To reach into his chest and stroke his beating heart. All without hurting him of course. As gory and twisted as that sounds, it would make me happy. I would finally be satisfied.

I love him so much it hurts at times. I was frightened at first by how attached I grew to him so fast. I guess that's just because of his magnetic personality.

Everyone is drawn to Chance. We could be in the middle of Walmart shopping for toothpaste and for some reason or another random people will try to strike up a conversation with him, and of course he obliges them every time.

He's such a sweetheart. He hates seeing people down and depressed. It's because of the way that he grew up. Always second guessing himself because nobody believed that he would make it as an artist.

Always wondering if his father was ever coming home and when his mother would finally put down the pipe. His art was the only thing that saved him deteriorating and fading into the darkness around him.

"I felt like I was drowning...until you came along," he said.

Chance has this way of reading me so easily, making me smile uncontrollably. He doesn't realize it but he actually saved me.

Before Chancelor came along, I was lost. I had no idea what I wanted out of life or where I was going. It depressed me because I felt as though I had no purpose. I was just taking up space.

But then Chance showed me what it meant to explore. To experiment.

"You don't know what you want out of life because you haven't lived it!" Chance exclaimed. "You've been so stuck in poverty and just trying to figure out how to survive day to day that you haven't had anytime to look up in the sky and see clouds, let alone stars. Once you have a chance to clear your head actually explore the world around you, you can experiment with different things until you find what fits you."

I've been experimenting for a year now. I still haven't found where I fit just yet, but I love the way I feel when he touches me. I love the way he kisses my neck and let's me collaborate with him on some of his paintings. I love how patient and kind he is with me. So gentle.

His fingers like feathers brushing against my skin. His kisses like soft rain drops on my lips that flow down my tongue.

"It's okay if you haven't found a place you want to be yet," Chance spoke as he softly brushed the hair out my face, "just as long as you are happy in the moment and doing more than just surviving everyday. I'll take care of you as long as you like. You're my angel. The way you hold me down everyday is enough to keep me going for a lifetime Lani. I love you, you talented, valid, purposeful human being."

"How did I get so lucky?" I said as I snuggled closer to him.

"How did I get so blessed?" He said back.

We laid there together, close to each other. We're never close enough, but today was the closest we've ever been, and I hope we stay this close forever.