Tsunami Shorts (Kehlani One Shots)

I Still

I still smell your shampoo.
I still taste your kisses.
I still whistle for you, each time the cold wind hisses.
I still search for you, even though you've indefinitely gone missin'.
I still crave you, even though your fresh tears still glisten from all the pain I've inflicted.
I still sing in the shower for you, even though your ears no longer listen.
I still vouch for you, even though my family thinks you're a villain.
I still skip rocks for you, even when my wrist is stiffened.
I still let the top down for you, even though you don't let your hair down with it.
I still kiss my ring for you, even though you threw yours in the parking lot of the morgue.
I still think you're a gem.
I still think you're a beauty.
I know I screwed up because I didn't do my duty as wife or a best friend.
I still love you in the end.
I still water the plants for you.
I still feed the stray cats for you.
I still walk past the duck pond for you.
I still save coupons for you.
I still have laundry on the dryer for you.
Justine, I still admire you.
I still see you fighting for you.
I still see you hiding from you.
I still see you running from me.
I still see you running from the truth.
I still own up to my faults.
I still remember it all.
I still think of those nights.
I still dream for your eyes turning into stars.
I still want you in my bed, even though you've burned it.
I still hear you shouting, "I hate you," in my head.
I still hear you moaning, "please Kehlani," in my bed.
I still feel your hot skin against mine.
I still long your touch, so divine.
I still kiss the earn with the baby's ashes.
I still remember the birth and death of him, but ashes to ashes.
I still remember us screaming in counseling trying to hear one another.
I still remember the look the therapist gave us when she realized how badly we need one another.
I still have hope for us Justine.
I still long to have your trust.
I still cry myself to sleep at night knowing you're not here, your warmth is a must.
I still haven't started back to work yet, even though it's the new year.
I still stay up late and watch those crime shows.
I still feel your fingers playing in my hair while watching all those cop shows.
I still watch Empire for the both of us.
I still rep team Cookie, even though you thought Lucious was a bad one.
I still sleep on only my side of the bed.
I still love you Justine, even though you leave me on read.
That lets me know you still read what I've said over and over.
I still love you Justine, a thousand times over.
I still fight for you everyday.
I still try and find a way to gain your trust once again.
I still vow to be here until the end.
I still know what I did was wrong.
I still regret kissing her because we weren't getting along.
I still hate her Justine.
I still hear what you said, "if you love her so much, just go be with her then!"
But the problem is, I don't love her.
I still understand why it's hard for you to face me.
I still don't want to pressure you because I know you need space.
I still love you Justine, no matter the time or place.
Please find it in your heart to forgive me.
I still can't find anyone who could take your place.