Night Owl || Rocky Lynch

CHAPTER 24

3 weeks. No sleep. I rocked myself back and forth with a screaming infant on my shoulder.

"Please..." I begged into the room, "Please..."

Rocky came walking in with a serious look on his face and he ran his fingers through his hair, "Babe, I can't sleep."

I looked at him like he was one of the dumbest people alive and sighed, "Neither can he apparently." I gestured to the baby. I stood up and bounced myself up and down while the baby cried.

"I have record label stuff tomorrow, Tor." He said for the tenth time.

"I am aware." I reminded him, "I'm exhausted too, Rocky."

He rubbed his eyes and looked at the clock on the wall. 2:36 am. "How did we used to stay up all night..." He said "What the fuck, we're old." He mumbled.

I sighed as the baby calmed down a bit. "You don't stay up nearly as much as I do, Rocky." I reminded him as I sat down. Why I was insinuating an argument I didn't know, but I quickly prepared the baby to eat again before he started his wild cries and finally he actually took it.

"Well, excuse me for not having boobs." He looked at me, "Not my fault you refuse to use that damn pump so I could feed him!"

"You try a machine tweaking your nipples like a teenage boy who's never seen breasts, Rocky. It's NOT comfortable." I said through gritted teeth. "Just fucking go to bed if you're going to be so... Irritable."

"I'm irritable?" He pointed at himself, "You have mood swings every two seconds. You never want to go anywhere. I never leave this house unless it's for work."

"Then go somewhere, Rock, I don't care. Go to party, drink something, spend time at the band house, just don't complain about our lifestyle when you're here." I told him, "And so sorry about the mood swings that I had your child come out of my body two and a half weeks ago."

Rocky balled his fists and walked out without a word. Maybe he'd go sleep.

James only wanted a bit to eat before he fell asleep against my chest and I put him down in his bed. I turned the baby monitor on and walked out of the room and down the hallway.

"Rocky?" I called to him. I walked back into the living room and saw the back porch door cracked open. I went over to it and poked my head out the door. "What the hell, Rocky." I looked out to see him with a lit joint in his hand.

"Tori!" He exclaimed, "We- uh." He paused and looked at the burning paper, "I can explain."

"Explain that you can get the fuck out of my house." I crossed my arms, "Rocky, I told you I won't fucking have it. You, your siblings, anyone."

"I didn't, Tor, I swear, I lit it thinking i wanted it but I was too nervous to take a drag. I swear you can kiss me, you'll see. I didn't even do it." He convinced me. I was too tired.

"But you lit it." I swallowed and tears were in my eyes. What the fuck Victoria. Don't fucking cry. Why are you crying.

"Tor, please, don't cry..." He stood up and came over to me with his arms open. I collapsed into the strong grip and I felt like if he wasn't holding me up I would have fallen to the ground. "Baby girl...." He muttered.

"I'm sorry." I whispered, "This is so fucking hard." I said, "And I'm so tired..."

"I know you are baby..." He held me tightly. "I am too. And I miss you. Like the you, you."

I cried all over again and he walked us into the house to sit on the couch, "I'm not the same..."

"It's okay, babe. I know you're a new mom and it's fucking hard. But Tori," he looked at me, "I miss my girlfriend. I miss my partner. My love." He took my hand. "I still need you."

"I suck..." I told him, "I've totally neglected you as a person."

"That's not it." He hugged me, "I just miss your jokes. And your laugh. And I miss being able to watch you sleep soundly."

"I miss that too, baby." I told him, "Really..."

I rubbed his cheek and hugged him, "I think we just need a routine or something..."

"I agree." He kissed the top of my head.

"It's so hard to have a routine with a baby that wakes up 8 times a night." I rested my head on his shoulder.

His arm wrapped tightly around me and he yawned, "Yes it is... Which is why we could go to bed while he's asleep."

"I like that idea," I muttered and forced my tired body to stand up. "I'm sorry I'm not myself." I apologized as he lead me down the hallway.

"Mmm," He mumbled, "Not your fault. You had a baby. It's not exactly an everyday activity." He chuckled to himself and pulled me close to him. He kissed me slowly and tiredly but I felt like he meant it more than any other kiss we'd had in the last few weeks. "I just miss us."

"The sex?" I laughed as my eyes drooped closed.

"Three more weeks." He responded quietly.

"Maybe. If I'm ready." I kissed his bare chest and rubbed it with my hand. "I can do other things... "

"Such as?" He groaned.

There was a cry on the baby monitor that cut off my response to the question and I muttered, "I just put him down..." With tired eyes looking over at Rocky. "You'll find out the answer to my question later today if you go get him and bring him to me."

He scrambled up out of bed and got our little one to bring to me. "He's just a little attention seeker." Rocky said, "He stopped crying the second I picked him up. He's held literally 23 out of 24 hours every day with how many people we have around us."

"He's just dramatic. Like me." I shrugged, "Let's just hope he doesn't get your wild child spirit."

"You mean OURS." He nudged me, "We're both pretty crazy Tor..."

The room was quiet for a moment and I took a breath. "During the day tomorrow I'm going to try and figure out the pumps so we can start leaving the house."

"And so that I can feed him." Rocky nodded and kissed James' head. "We should plan a day to go see your dad in the visitor's room."

"We should." I nodded, "He needs to meet his grandson."

After another couple of minutes I had thought Rocky had fallen asleep with his back to me while I patted my little one's back and tried to sway him back to slumber. I felt Rocky's hand go to my hip and he rubbed it lightly, "You're doing really good." He mumbled sleepily. "I don't tell you that enough." He stood up and walked over to my side of the bed, "Let me take him."

"Really?" I looked up at him hopefully, "Rocky, you have an important meeting tomorrow, I can do it, I sw-," He cut me off.

"No. It's okay. They know we just had him. They know I'll be tired. You deserve to rest. How long ago did he eat?"

"Not even 15 minutes ago." I remembered.

"So you should be able to get a solid couple of hours..." He kissed the top of my head and took James with a small smile, "We'll be in his bedroom. Sleep tight." and he shut the door.

I sighed lightly and turned over. I trusted him more than anything. I loved him more than anything. And I was sure he knew what he was doing no matter what anyone would ever say.