Vanity Teens

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Eleven:

Vienna had hired a classic blood red double-decker bus that would take us straight to her estate in St. Ives, Cornwall. When I arrived at her house later in the day, with the sky bruised a dark and dreary purple, I saw it parked in her driveway like it was nothing but an old bicycle. It stood out in front of such an old house, really, and just looked plainly out of place.

"Ari, sexy!" Vienna's mother squealed once she saw me. Her squeal sounded so much like her daughter's, they were practically identical in every way.

"Mrs. Plumb," I said dryly.

"No!" she screamed, as I strolled up the pathway towards her. "Not married! It's Miss, ever since I chucked Vernon to the curb two years ago!"

Vienna stormed out the doors surrounded by dozens of Louis Vuitton suitcases, with servants dressed in white and black suits dragging them along the floor as she strolled over to us. "Mum, stop telling Ari a big fat load of old bullshit. Dad left you, and left me. He wanted neither of us, so stop pretending you chucked him out when really he gave you everything in the divorce just to get away from you. He even had a bit on the side, and his name was George." For some reason, Vienna started laughing. I didn't find it remotely funny.

"Your dad's a gay boy?" The irony of life just kills me.

"No, he's just experimenting!" her mother said stubbornly, suddenly walking away with a distasteful glance guided at the two of us.

"Yes he is, mother! Daddy loves the D, so deal with it! He takes it up the shitter! You were his hag for eighteen years!" I admired Vienna's relationship with her mother, even though it was abnormal and completely dysfunctional. "Sorry about that, Ari, my mum's just a complete hag."

"So where's everyone else?" I asked, glancing around to find that only the two of us stood by the doors of the double-decker, other than Vienna's servants that dragged her suitcases along beside her.

"Inside. Toppington, bring everyone outside, tell them Ari's finally here. We've been waiting an hour for you, only Ari arrives fashionably late," she said, ordering her butler Toppington around like the boss she was.

"It's Ambrose, my lady," he murmured, wandering off to fetch the others.

"Well it's Toppington now, okay, Toppington?" she called after him. "Stupid Toppington."

"You know, after having the same butler since the day you were born, you'd be expected to remember his name," I told her, smirking lightly.

"Sorry, but I don't really care for the help."

"Lovely."

The doors closed, and then swung open voraciously, to reveal Benedicta standing beneath the door-frame like she owned the place. She was wearing a cute little woolly jumper that fell beyond her knees that day, and I still wasn't sure if she actually wore trousers beneath it. Her hair was still bright red and in pigtails, and her shoes reminded me of Alice in Wonderland.

"Boyfriend!" she screamed at me playfully. "My parents just phoned me, you know. It was a shitty call. For some reason, they seem to think we're going out, all because of a phone-call from your mother. Like to tell me why that is, lover?" She stood in front of me and eyed me carefully.

"Charlie told her that we were fucking, and my mother thought your parents should know about it. I had to tell her that we were going out."

She bit her lip. "Then it looks like we'll have to break up right in front of them. We'll do it when we get back, okay, boyfriend?"

"Fine, girlfriend."

"I am fine. I'm so fine."

Vienna laughed. "No you aren't, you're mentally unstable. Is your therapist fine with you going across country with us?" she asked daringly, as Max strolled casually up to us. His hands were in his pockets, and he kept staring at the floor.