In Case of Heartbreak

08 | brave

C H A P T E R 8 | D E A N

Sitting in the passenger's seat of my own car was something that didn't happen often. Holden couldn't drive, and it was only once in a while that one of my teammates would offer to be designated driver after a party, but other than those odd times, I always preferred to drive. I liked being in control of the situation, and ever since I'd gotten my license, being behind the wheel was something that had the power to relax me.

Since the accident however, the thought of eventually having to get back in the saddle hadn't crossed my mind, that is, not until Ryan had mentioned my new car. It was apparent that driving while injured, overall, was a bad idea, but what worried me was what would happen once I recovered. Something as simple as driving had turned my whole world on end, and I didn't know if I would have the courage to jump right back behind the wheel.

As grim thoughts began to clog my mind, I tried to shake myself out of it. I eyed the rear-view mirror with hopes of catching Holden's eye, though his head was ducked with his focus on his phone, and when I turned to Katie, her attention was fixed on the road ahead. She seemed at ease, though it was hard not to notice that she pulled the corner of her bottom lip between her teeth every time she checked her mirrors or flicked her turning signal on before rounding a corner.

I should have realized I was staring, though the fact failed to register with me until we pulled to a stop behind a stand-still line of traffic near a university crosswalk and Katie's gaze turned to me. Quickly turning my attention to the window, the lone student sat at the bus stop adjacent to us didn't exactly entail anything interesting, and I found my eyes shifting back towards her only a few moments later.

There was a quizzical edge to her gaze, curiosity spreading through her features, and all that filled the silence was the low lull of the music that drifted out of the speakers. "Are you okay?" she mouthed, her eyebrows pinched closer together.

Feeling as though I'd already unloaded enough of my problems onto her this morning, I simply nodded, trying to hide my emotions the best that I could. I wasn't able to put my feelings into words just yet, and as I noticed the traffic beginning to move, I nudged her attention away from me.

Pulling into the parking lot, the normal mass of students that filled the campus grounds on the first day of the semester were non-existent. There were a few people loitering in the parking lot, or walking between buildings, but the whole scene just felt different.

And then I remembered that it wasn't the first day of the semester, but in fact the second week. The sudden realization did nothing to calm my uneasiness, and make me slightly regret leaving my bedroom this morning.

The car came to an indefinite stop as Katie pulled the keys from the ignition and Holden jumped at the chance to escape from the cramped backseat. Quickly gathering his things, his focused shifted to wiggling my wheelchair out from its wedged position.

Katie had yet to move from her seat, and while I could feel her gaze on me, I pushed the car door open, accepting Holden's help as I maneuvered my way into my wheelchair.

"So," Holden said, sounding rather uncertain as he adjusted his bag, "I've actually got class in less than ten minutes on the other side of campus, but if you need help getting around, I'll gladly miss the beginning of my international finance lecture."

I shook my head in amusement, knowing that while he wasn't particularly keen on his professor, Holden wasn't one to show up late for things, especially when his grades were involved. "You know I can get around on my own," I said, a teasing undertone to my words, "It's not like I'm gonna get lost on my way to class."