In Case of Heartbreak

17 | overcome

C H A P T E R 1 7 | K A T I E

Losing my mom had caused a gaping hole to open in my chest – one that couldn't be covered or ignored, no matter how hard I tried. It required stitches to carefully pull the jagged pieces back together, and dealing with the grief coursing through my veins would take time.

After all, when you lost someone close to you, moving on was an uphill battle that couldn't be fought in a day.

As the New Year broke, I found myself surrounded by constant support. The university was still in between terms, which meant that classes were on break, leaving Stella, Dean, and even Holden, spare time to stick by me and make sure that I didn't get tripped up by sorrow. My supervisor at the hospital was also incredibly understanding, giving me an extended amount of time off before I fully stepped back into my life again. This I was thankful for, as even the idea of stepping back into the place my mother had taken her last breath caused a panic to ignite in my chest, though I knew eventually I'd have to face the pain.

Every time I saw the family portraits scattered around the house, or noticed a forlorn look grace Theo's face, I was brought back to the memories I carried of my mom. The family dinners, our over-the-top birthdays, her celebrating with me when I'd gotten accepted to Duke, and the two of us watching Theo graduate university. And while it hurt to think of those times, it also helped me realize that, even though she wouldn't be around anymore, she would be forever ingrained in my mind.

I'd thought I was slowly healing, but when I woke up on the second Monday of January, knowing it was the day that I was meant to start my last term of university, I was unable to move from my bed.

Theo had left the night before on a red-eye flight back to London, and though I'd known he couldn't stay forever, his absence made me, once again, feel suffocated from the loneliness of the apartment.

The familiar aching spread quickly, feeling as though I'd been thrown off balance and pinned to the ground, and suddenly every thought of heading to campus was drowned out by pain.

After all, if I couldn't save the person closest to me, how would I be able to help others? What was the point of it all?

My mind was all-consuming. My surroundings faded away as the wrenching torment washed over me, overwhelming and dizzying as I felt my eyes slowly sliding shut. Dazed with fear, my sleep was plagued with flashes from my mother's hospital room and her funeral. With every new, depressing thought, all I wanted to do was wake up, but it seemed as though hours passed, my mind fighting against me each step of the way.

Finally, when a shaking sensation overtook my body, I was pulled from the nightmare inside my head. It wasn't until I opened my eyes however, my blurry vision taking a while to focus, that I realized my subconscious wasn't causing my sudden movements, but rather, someone attempting to rouse me from my sleep.

"Katie? Katie?"

Blinking incoherently, I recognized the increasing worry that came with each call of my name, only stopping when an indescribable groan passed through my lips. It was Dean, his eyes filled with concern as our gazes locked, slowly dimming as relief washed over him.

"What are you doing here?" I asked groggily, raising my head slightly. "What time is it?"

I noticed the corners of his lips tug upwards, though it was more of a grimace that graced his features. "It's half past eleven."

Dropping my head back down to my pillow, I brought my hand up, dragging it through my straggled hair. "Shit."

A short chuckle escaped his lips as he dropped his bag next to my bed, though as he took a seat on the edge of my mattress, a more serious expression was pointed towards me. "When you didn't show up this morning, I just jumped on the bus with Holden, figuring you'd just hitched a ride with Stella," he explained, his fingers mindlessly winding around my own. "But when my first class was over, Holden texted me to say that Stella hadn't heard from you this morning, so I knew something was wrong."