The Darkness Behind The Light

Beach Day

We wake up, 9:00am reads on my phone screen as the alarm rings through my ears.
I shake Winter waking her up as we both climb out of bed.
"Ugh! We should have went to sleep earlier" Winter says, going to lay back down on the bed but I grab her pulling her back up.
"We'll be fine" I say, going to grab the doorknob "ima go shower"
I walk across the house into the bathroom, taking a 30 minute shower, Alex not leaving my mind once.
I think about everything.
The first time I saw him.
The first time our eyes locked.
The moment I realized I liked him.
The time he tried to kiss me.
The time he endlessly flirted with me.
The first time we hung out.
...The time I hurt an extremely close friend of mine.
So many great things, but that one bad thing covers them all up.
No matter how much I love hi...I freeze in the middle of my own thoughts.
Did I really just...no...I couldn't have.
Theres no way those words flashed through my head...its impossible.
No, I'm just tired and my thoughts arnt straight, that's all.
I throw the thought out of my head.
I can't won't worry about it.
I get dressed, putting on pink shorts and a black tanktop over my solid black bikini, before returning back to my room where Winter is on here phone.
She showers quickly while I'm still stuck on my thoughts of Alex.
So many perfect memory's.
So few bad ones
We quickly get everything packed into the car before Mom, Jeremy, Winter and I head out around eleven.
We drive down to Huntington Beach state park which is were we ushually go and when we finnaly arive we grab everything, setting it all up on the beach.
The day goes by in a flash.
Winter, Jeremy and I have so much fun together, mom spending all day laying out tanning.
Winter and I walked down the beach and I Snapchat Alex but he doesnt see it, probably either at work or busy hanging out with friends or fishing knowing him.
Before I know it it's 5:30 and mom says shes tired and is ready to go home.
Although it's earlier than we would ushually leave I'm also really tired, most likely from the lack of sleep Winter and I had last night, staying up acting like complete idiots.
We head home, getting back around 6:50, just enough time to change and get to church.
I quickly change, putting on a pair of light blue jeans and a white T-shirt.
I take the side braid out of my hair and brush through it, trying to get most of the curls out.
Before I know it, it's 6 and Winter and I hurry, dragging mom into the car to drive us.
It's only a couple minutes after when were walking into the church and quickly walk upstairs.
We walk into the room and I quickly scan the room to find a seat...and find Alex.
There's a couple of seats right across from the door so I only a have a second to scan the rest if the room to see if Alex showed.
I sadly don't see his eyes that I've loved staring into these past couple of days so I quickly take the seat that I first saw.
Winter sits Beside me and I look up towards our youth leader, Courtney.
Less than 5 minutes into it I already start to zone out, thinking about Alex again.
I've got to find a way to keep him out of my head during church.
It's just kind of hard since this is where we met.
We're I started to like him.
The next thing I know, I feel Winter hit my leg and point over to my left.
I glance over there to see Alex sitting on the couch, waving at me.
I quickly wave back, when did he get here?
Probably when I was zoned out thinking about him, or was he here when I got here?
The rest if the time I'm mostly either zoned out thinking about him or staring at him.
I just can't focus when he's near me...or on my mind.
Right in the middle of my thoughts I feel Winter punch me in my arm snapping me back into reality.
I look up seeing everyone already standing up.
Dang, I must have been way to deep into my thoughts.
I stand up, scanning the room for where Alex is.
I quickly find him and make my way over to him, Winter following behind me.
"Hey!" I say, a huge smile on my face.
"Oh, so know you'll say hey to me!" He says back, I can hear the slight joking tone in his voice.
"I didnt see you when I came in" I say laughing.
"You looked right at me"
"As we discussed yesterday, Im blind!" I laugh, referring back to our amazing day yesterday.
We walk downstairs, continuing to talk and constantly laugh.
Gosh why is talking to him so amazing!
Before I know it, it's 8:30 and we've been out if church for 30 minutes already which isn't unusual bacause thats about how long everyone stays after and talks.
I get a text from mom saying she's in the way to pick us up and she's here within minutes.
I tell Alex bye and he quickly grabs me, pulling me into a huge hug, an amazing feeling.
Sadly he doesn't say the words I love.
We drive home and minutes after I walk through the door I get a Snapchat from him.
"Hey again Sweetheart"
I love reading that one word more than any other he sends.
It's just...perfect.
Wow, I've used that word so much lately.
It's unbelievable.
I fall asleep quickly that night, once again, him on my mind.

Author's Note:
Hey! I know not much happened in this chapter and I'm really sorry but I'm going to try to update either daily or every other day. TRY is the key word there because I've been very busy lately. Just going to give you all a warning later on in the story it is going to slightly vear off from the truth but not yet. I'll tell you when it does but for now it's still 100% true. I hope you all enjoyed this chapter!! Love you all!!
-Ashley