The Darkness Behind The Light

Camp day #1

We get home and the first thing I do is collaps on my bed.
So much has happened through the past week and it's been amazing!
I lay down for Lord knows how long before finnaly getting something done.
I pack the majority of my things for the camp I'm going to with my church next week before pushing my suitcase asside and lay back down.
The summers been perfect.
I just can't wait till Alex are more than...whatever we are.
The weekend goes by in a flash.
Alex and I continue talking but he's seemed distant lately.
I don't know.
I haven't really though about it a whole lot because things have still been amazing, just a little...different.
But again, still not bad.
Him and I talk everyday through the weekend haveing an extremely short conversation sunday night.
It was completely different than the rest of the time when we talked.
We sent maybe 10 Snapchats each then he said he had to go.
Way shorter than ushual.
Thoughts race through my mind when I close out of the app as I start to worry about what could have happened.
What I did wrong.
Multiple things, horrible things, race through my head trying to figure out what happened.
It's not like I'm freaking out over this being a one time thing.
He's been acting this way all weekend.
But not this bad.
This is the worse it's been.
What if he doesnt like me anymore?
What did I do?
Where did I go wrong?
Calm down Ash.
He's just been busy...that's it
I don't get much sleep that night.
I get a few hours but when my 6:00 alarm goes off, the last thing I want to do is go sit on a bus for multiple hours.
I crawl out of bed, throwing on my shorts and a T-shirt.
I quickly pack the remainder of my things before we have to load up the car and I put all my bags in before we head out.
It's a short drive to the church and we stop by my uncle's store so I can get coffee.
I run in, quickly grabbing it, paying for it before we finish the drive.
I dart out running up to hug and greet my friends.
Although I'm still upset about the thing with Alex there's still a chance that it's just me so I shouldn't tell them or let them know.
I run over to them, embracing them all in a hug just like I ushually would.(except Sarah because she won't let me hug her to save her life)
I act completely normal, I've gotten pretty good at hiding my emotions lately.
We load up the bus before making out way towards camp.
The 2 and a half hour drive is long but definitely gives me some time to think.
About half an hour into the drive, I open my Snapchat.
Alex is probably working but I really want to talk to him.
I want to prove that he's just been kind of busy and that's the only reason he's been distant.
I Snapchat him a short "hey" before putting my headphones in, starting my music.
I didn't get much sleep last night so it won't hurt to take a short nap.
Gladly due to the limited number of people that could come I got my own seat so I'm able to lay down closing my eyes.
Go to sleep Ash, you're tired, it's been a long weekend...a long week.
The next thing I know, I peel my eyes open, glancing down at my phone.
We've been on the bus for an hour and a half, good, only an hour left.
I look through the few notifications I have, noticing nothing from Alex.
Relax, it's only 8:30.
He's probably still at work, he ushaully works till 12, this is normal Ash.
I end up falling back asleep for the rest of the ride.
Although the only think I want to do I talk to Alex he's probably working.
We'll talk tonight.
Just like we always do.
Before I know it, Nicole's sitting there, shaking me back and forth yelling that we're here and we all quickly get off the bus.
We head to were we have to check in and get our camp T-shirt, name tags, and room keys.
We quickly get everything, taking a huge group picture, a normal and crazy.
We head back to the bus, getting our suitcases and parting our separate way with the guys, Jeremy, Mathew, and Liam.
Courtney, Sarah, Nicole, Carter, Lila, Samantha, Mackenzie, Hannah, and myself all head towards our doorms, dragging out things up to the third floor.
We head down the long hall, looking for out room numbers.

"Ok, Hannah, Carter, Lila, your all in 301. Sarah, Nicole, Ashley, y'all are in 302. Samantha and Mackenzie, y'all and I are in 303." Our youth leader instructs us

"Who has the room with the connecting bathroom?" Sarah asks

"Y'all do. Like I'd trust y'all otherwise" Courtney says

"Ok, good point" Hannah says as she starts to unlock the key to her room.

Sarah quickly unlocks our door, quickly rushing over to the single bed calling dibs.
I quickly say I want the top bunk of the bed so Nichole says she'll take the bottom bunk, not that she really had any other option other that sleeping in the floor.

We set everything up, making our beds and setting our suitcases to the side.
It feels good to be back here.
Before I know it, it's ,1pm and I still haven't gotten anything from Alex.
He's just...busy...that's it Ash.
We go to opening celebration and it's a blast but I'm constantly pulling myself out of my thoughts of Alex.
Not that that's a very unusual thing for me lately.

Author's note:
Omg, y'all I'm sorry I haven't updated in awhile! School, tennis, and drama has kept me busy and it's just been crazy!! I hope yall liked this chapter though, love you all!!!
~Ash