Forgotten Hatred (Shizaya)

Chapter 12: Talking

Shinra's POV

"So, what did you want to talk to me about?" I ask, motioning for him to sit down across from me.

It's been a couple days since we came back from the beach. I'm guessing this has something to do with Izaya, because, from what I've heard, Izaya hasn't even gone back to Shizuo's house.

"Izaya," he responds.

"Well, I figured, but what specifically?" I make sure to use my doctor voice rather than a buddy voice. Gotta stay professional! ☆〜（ゝ。∂）

"He's been ignoring me ever since we got back," he hangs his head slightly.

"Oh!" I say, slightly surprised. "So he did go back to your house. He ran away as soon as we got back, so I assumed otherwise."

He shakes his head. "No, he hasn't come back. I don't know where he is. Namie told me he hasn't been at his house."

"Hm." I rub my chin while thinking. "Do you have any idea where he might be or why he ran off?"

He looks slightly to my left. "No to both."

"Shizuo," I lean towards him, "If you know anything, please tell me. Anything will help."

"Well, I did yell at him..."

"About what?" He doesn't look like he wants to answer. "If you want to help Izaya, tell me. Even if he wouldn't want you to."

"Well, a few weeks ago I found cuts all along his arms, and he got upset. Then he told me he stopped, and I didn't see any fresh scars, so I thought everything was getting better. The other day I found wounds all over his torso, and I was so angry he lied to me and hurt himself."

I gasp. "Shizuo, even though you were mad, you shouldn't have done that."

He raises his voice and hits the coffee table, which shatters. "You think I haven't realized that!"

"I'm just saying, you should not yell at someone who performs self-harm. Although most people who cut themselves do it because they can't understand their own feelings, when dealt with improperly, it can turn into suicide. Yelling at them makes them feel even more insecure. You should have consoled him and tried to work through it together." I explain, slightly rushed. Izaya has always been confused with his feelings and prone to depression. If he's not home...

"I tried to help him and he lied to me!" He screams.

"It's not as easy as you think. Cutting can be very addictive." I pause. "I've never done it so I'm not exactly sure, but I'm pretty sure it gives them a sort of high. Probably the same effect as drugs. I mean, if someone asked you to stop smoking, would you be able to do it?"

He looks away. "I don't see what's the problem. I smoke knowing the risks."

"Exactly. Don't you think Izaya feels the same?" He gives me a blank stare. I sigh. "He knows it's not good, but he likes the feeling of it. Even if he could die, he wants the momentary pleasure. If someone tells him to stop or yells at him, he'll do it more to spite him or her. The best way to help him would be to tell him that you'll be there for him and try to stop it gradually rather than completely at once."

He nods. "I'm sorry. I've never had to do this before."

I lay a hand on his shoulder. "You shouldn't be telling me that, although if you had told me about this before, we might not have had this conversation."

He nods, "If it ever happens again to anyone, I'll come to you."

"By the way," I start to derail from the grim subject, "Was he cute when he couldn't swim?"