Black Mirror

Interlude 1 - Don't Be Such A Sour Wolf!

Finally. The first full day of Thanksgiving break.

A sunny blue sky greeted Alex Emery first thing in the morning. Right away, the first thing he did was make his bed, even before he got dressed. Like many men with military experience, Dad was more of a neat freak than was typical for the human species. He had to start over again, however, when he realized he was missing a sock. That sock had somehow wound up near the foot of his bed. He tossed it in the hamper, along with its twin, to be washed later that day. Preferably by himself, of course. He'd had another night with a girl too good to be true, a girl who would dress like Supergirl if he would dress like The Flash...

Oh wait. He didn't own any cosplay. Except in his own head.

As he opened his door to head down the hall and drain his sausage, he heard a couple of faint thumps coming from Gabe's room, and maybe even a muffled swear word or two. Probably he was trying to sneak his mysterious boyfriend (everyone knew he had one, but no one knew who he was - maybe he was still in the closet) out the window before Mom or Dad could wake up. At least he was actually able to sneak around successfully. He, on the other hand, had already been caught in his birthday suit in Mary Kate Palmer's bed, by her brother. No longer did he have the privilege of calling her "MK."

Although he still wished she would put on that Supergirl cosplay for him someday.

In the kitchen, while he got to work fixing himself a cup of coffee, Alex heard Gabe come in, a glazed look on his face. His twin caught his eye, winked, and slid two fingers into his closed fist. Alex winked back, then bumped fists with Gabe. Lucky, he thought. Gabe inclined his head as if receiving the message telepathically, then stood next to the stove, reaching into the cabinet for his Deadpool coffee cup. (Alex's was Captain America.)

"Good morning," Mom sang as she came in, waiting for the boys to kiss her cheek, one after the other. "Oh, good. You've already started the coffee."

"What, are they turning into Darks on us?" Dad walked in, his nostrils dilated as he sniffed the air. It made him look like a scruffy blond wolf.

"Nope." Gabe held up his index and middle finger in a crude approximation of a bird-flip, the way their grandmother would sometimes do to their uncle when he spouted off some stupid pro-Republican drivel. As he did so, a small blue flurry leaped into the air, evaporating quickly as it met the heat rising off the kettle.

"What about you?" Dad rounded on Alex. "Show us you're still an Ice, Rebel."

Alex knitted his eyebrows, trying not to laugh at Dad's stupid nickname for him. Sure, it beat Gabe's preferred "you cheeky bastard," but Dad always liked to thicken his Southern drawl just for that word. He gave it a second before doing a similar Ice flurry to his brother's, also letting it evaporate over the kettle.

"Satisfied?" he asked.

"Only when y'all move outta my way and let me grab my goddamn cup!" Dad muscled Alex off to one side, but not without his usual boisterous grin.

"'Don't be such a sour wolf!'" Gabe said in a near-perfect Stiles Stilinski voice.

"Elijah, don't roughhouse with the boys," Mom complained, wagging her finger at him for added comic effect. "You'll turn them into monsters."

"That's what they already are," Dad said, snickering and almost dropping his mug as he retrieved it. "Monsters. Beasts. Scurvy devils and rogues!"

"I think you're still a boy yourself," Mom said, unable to resist a grin.

"Guilty as charged."

"As for the real boys..." Mom's hazel eyes glittered as she smiled at Alex and Gabe. "The new neighbors are moving in today, and they've got a kid your age. Maybe you could make friends with him? You could always do with some more friends-"

"But we've already got friends," Alex said.

"Yeah, and what if the neighbor's kid is a she, not a he?" Gabe pointed out.

"You don't got 'friends' so much as you got 'hangers-on,'" Dad scoffed. "But with this new neighbor, you can make a clean first impression that doesn't got anything to do with how good you can cut through the water with that sunshine-yellow ball."

"Not to mention our big brass ones on display in the yearbook," Alex said. Gabe clicked his tongue at him.

Mom almost choked trying not to laugh, then she rolled her eyes to the skies. "Take some of that confidence and use it to make that good first impression later, huh?" she said.

"'Course, all y'all got laundry to do first," Dad reminded them. Since the kettle wouldn't be ready and boiling for another five or ten minutes anyway, the twins darted out of the kitchen and ran upstairs as Dad called after them, "Don't forget to bleach the shit outta your whites! And any other fluids besides!"

Simultaneously, Alex and Gabe raised their middle fingers and pointed them downstairs, aware that their parents couldn't see them.

As Alex got his laundry sorted (jeans, darks, lights, reds, and whites), he looked out the window onto the street below. Already, he could see a moving van parked across the street. Hoping against hope Mom wouldn't try to welcome the new arrivals to the neighborhood with Jell-O (who did that anymore?), he figured that, whoever the new teenage neighbor was, it would be a nice change for this street full of old fuddy-duddies.

And, for a brief, horny moment, he hoped that said teenager could make a good new girlfriend for him. Or boyfriend. You never knew.

Although, knowing his luck in the love department, they probably wouldn't be his type anyway.