Black Mirror

Interlude 6 - No One Seems To Grasp The Concept Of The Mask!

"You've never seen this one? How?"

Alex looked genuinely surprised, and Fionna hated to be the bearer of sad news, but... "Everyone says that movie sucks."

"Nonsense!" He popped open his laptop's DVD drive - no Netflix at chez Emery, apparently - and loaded the DVD in. "It's only the best movie ever made! Uh, but you've seen the first one, right?"

"I did, when I was little."

He was about to close the drive, but decided at the last second to swap discs. "Then you gotta see the original Amazing Spider-Man all over again, Fi."

"Since when have you called me 'Fi?'" Subject change aside, though, she couldn't help but want to watch both movies with him. He was just so enthusiastic about it, more than anything else that seemed to catch his fancy. Even her.

Fionna sat back on his bed while he put in The Amazing Spider-Man Numéro Un, and sent off a text. Not to Gabe, who was in the next room playing some video game - she could hear the sounds of it faintly filtering through the wall, and thought it might have been Katamari Damacy. Wow, these boys were into some really old shit. No, she was texting another friend she'd made since the end of Christmas break - Evan Michaelsen, that Ice girl she'd observed eating lunch a few times. Turned out they shared a US History class - not with Mrs. Emery, though. Evan had plenty of tips on how to survive when your boyfriend was a bigger geek than you.

"Is it normal for the guy to want to binge two movies in a row?" she asked.

Evan's response was fast. "You'll get your revenge later. Have him watch The First Time if he wants to fuck. That ought to kill his mood."

"What if I don't wanna kill his mood?"

"Good. Sour feelings are bad for relationships. But don't take it from me - I'm only on my first as we speak."

Fionna looked up and saw that Alex was out the door. Probably in the bathroom or something. On screen, coming attractions from eight or nine years ago were playing. "Did Jay have you watch Amazing Spider-Man 1 and 2 both?"

"Hell yeah, he did. They're sooooooo good."

"I'll take your word for it. Alex wants to watch them both." She sniffed the air - the smell of something hot and salty was wafting upstairs and into the room. "Think of me eating microwave popcorn while you feast on your birthday cake."

"Cake later. Right now..." Evan then sent a pic of herself about to eat a slice of pizza the size of her head. Maybe even bigger.

"Goddammit."

"I invited you, didn't I?"

"Yeah, but I would've been the one Normal in your group."

"No, no. What about my sister?"

Now Fionna was more embarrassed than ever. "Oh. Yeah, that's the other reason why I didn't come. I do so badly talking to one person, a whole group would destroy me."

"Hey, hey, hey! Don't beat yourself up! Do I have to come up to this Alex dude's house and drag you kicking and screaming out the door for a snowball fight?"

She shook her head at the phone. "No, it's okay. Alex is coming back with the popcorn. Smells burnt."

"You're just saying that."

She was, but Evan wasn't about to know that. "❤❤ Happy birthday!"

"Not till Monday, but that's not gonna stop me asking Jay for birthday sex."

"TMI, Queen Elsa." She grinned at her screen before adding a couple of emojis. Winky face, snowflake, black and blue hearts to represent Jay's Dark Ice powers.

"Hey, only Jay calls me 'Snowflake.' You sure I'm dating the right person?"

"Why, you open to kissing a girl?"

"Why not? Girls are beautiful. My first kiss was with a girl, you know."

She rolled her eyes. It wasn't the first time Evan had shown herself to be fluid in her sexuality, if not outright bi like Fionna herself. (It was hard to tell sometimes, harder than it should have been.) Maybe if she were a little more out of her shell - even singing in front of everyone at Armando DiFranco's Christmas party hadn't helped as much as it should have - she would've probably gone and asked Evan out instead.

And then she smacked her forehead, feeling disgusted with herself for thinking about getting a girl to express her own bisexuality by cheating on her boyfriend.

"Something wrong?" Alex came in with a huge bowl full of popcorn. Despite the slight stench of burning, the popcorn - the puffy part, at least - was snow-white.

"Nothing, nothing..." Fionna put her phone aside after sending one last goodbye text to Evan. "I was just thinking about some alternate universe where I was dating Evan Michaelsen."

"It'd have to be alternate. After she helped Jay and Harris save the day at the Ice Palace?" Alex scoffed. "She'll never have eyes for anyone else."

"Wait, I thought she was just dating Jay."

"And Harris makes three. Bad stereotype, I know, but I could actually see it, you know?" He started the movie and crash-landed on the bed next to Fionna, making the box spring creak. "I don't know 'em as well as I wanna, but they seem like good people. Sweet people." He took a handful of popcorn, scarfed it down, and kissed her on the lips, allowing her a surprisingly strong taste of salt and butter.

"Wait, how do I taste all that butter?" she asked. "The popcorn's all white."

"You'd be surprised. This is the best popcorn outside of movie theaters." The movie began in earnest, and as Fionna took her own bite of popcorn, Alex added, "By the way, if I start saying the lines along with Spidey, don't be surprised, okay?"

She laid her arm over his shoulders - she could barely reach all the way across, they were so broad - and drew him closer, kissing him like he'd kissed her just now. "You're the dorkiest dork who ever dorked."

"Thanks, Fi." He nuzzled her one last time, then turned his attention to the screen, as did she.