Going to school has brought back pet peeves of mine that I forgot I even had. Like the hallways for example- it's easy enough right? The only rules are to walk on the right side as much as possible and don't a fucking ASSHAT!
Sometimes I pause and think about how my future employers might find this as a part of an online background check and decide not hire me because of the fact that this is evidence that I'm a certified crazy person . But I do hope they vote on my chapters and save it to one of their Pinterest boards!
Anyways, back to the hallways. The hallway that my locker is located in is on the opposite side of the side of the school all of my classes are located on, so it really pisses me off when anything comes in between me and getting to class on time. Or is it getting to class on time and I? I've obviously been eating too much goldfish.
*gets up to go downstairs for a juice box
But the five minutes in between classes is interpreted by a surprisingly large demographic of our school population as a time for socializing (suit yourself I guess). I don't mind a pair of people chatting while walking to class, but I keep running into this wall. Basically, there is a group of four eighth graders in my school, who walk through the hallways like they own the place, efficiently doing so by lining up side by side like Ariana Grande and blocking up most of the hallway.
You can't squeeze inbetween one of them- because you can't. And you can't half run-half walk- half speed walk around them without looking like a nerd who is in a hurry to get to class. It's a ruthless cycle.
I hate stupid "get to know you" packets. I mean, know most teachers have evolved from awkward icebreakers like "two truths and a lie" but what they've come up with is far worse. I remember in the first week of math class one of the questions on our interview packets was something along the lines of "What is your spirit animal" and Annie said a guinea pig!
You can't just expect someone to answer such deep and sentimental questions in the time block of an hour- they're going to give you false information unless they've spent hours awake in bed thinking about questions like that (a.k.a. me). Annie's spirit animal, and when I say spirit animal I mean patronus, is obviously a horse, or a tiger, or something along those lines! But a guinea pig? Is this some sort of sick, twisted prank? I'm madder than the internet was when twitter changed from a heart to a star!
But in English class, we got this "self-reflection" sheet with these interrogation like questions such as- "what was your saddest moment" or "what makes you happy". Are you serious? I know you want to get to know us, but we are just another student out of the many you've taught through several years of teaching- if you're not a Buzzfeed quiz, you just don't get tat kind of information from us!
There was also this question that said "to describe myself in 5 words". I couldn't answer this question for two very obvious reasons- I could take the route that half of the class took and put down things such as funny, genius, innovative, creative, or some shit like that (which I obviously am don't get me wrong) but then I would come off as looking like some self- obsessed Draco Malfoy mutant minus the over-gelled blond hair.
I could tear myself down and give my true opinion of myself- annoying, loud, and other words that would get me a good beating from Sharon but apparently my clever self-deppreciating humor is too much for my English teacher who made it clear before we started that these were supposed to be "positive traits".
And then, she took it to the next level, and told us to go down the rows of desks and share our answers with our class, and my dumb ass had put down five words saying "Hi, my name is ____________ (my name)" which my class apparently found hysterical, not that I minded them laughing at my clever response of course, I just found it surprising.
I swear I heard someone whisper that I should have put down that I was a smart ass for one of my words.
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Karma Is My BFF (COMPLETED)
HumorA personal chronicle of life's awkward moments, from yours truly; This is also a collage of how-to guides you'll never need, rants you'll wish you hadn't wasted your time on, and people you'll never meet in real life but will learn to love. Most of...
