Chapter 2

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Okay, second chapter! May be a bit sad.

Demi's POV:

I was standing here, in front of my mirror, who am I? Why am I who I am? Why can't I be someone else? Why can't I be like Miley? Like Emily? Beautiful? Skinny? Funny? Why do I have to be the way I am? I lifted my hand, moving it close to my reflection, when I felt the cold glass against my fingertips. I closed my eyes, one tear rolling down my cheek.

[Flashback]

I was walking to school, happy like always but like my teacher said, I'm one of those girls who hide their feelings behind their poker face. Why so happy you may ask? Well I'm going to see Zayn once again. I walked smiling upstairs seeing Emily. 'Morning.' I said in a high voice. She giggled. 'Morning.' I put my bags on the ground and put my jacket off. Walking to the banister leaning against it, watching the student who walked past me. I turned to Emily and she smiled at me.

Gradually our classmates came, including Zayn. But today something was different, he, he didn't even look at me, so I decided not to look at him too, to ignore him like he's ignoring me...

[End of Flashback]

I let slowly my hand slide down the mirror. Why am I different? Where is the sense? Why can't I be like every other girl? Why can't they see me as a girl with feelings? Instead of a bullying victim?

[Flashback]

I couldn't smile, but put my poker face on and faked a smile for Emily and all the guys around us. The teacher walked past me opening the classroom for us. Everyone started walking in the room, I needed a moment to get myself together. I bent slowly down picking up my stuff. Of course I was lost in my thoughts, why is Zayn not into me like I am into him? I felt someone walking close behind me, I turned my head to the left to see Zayn walking close past me. I closed my eyes for a second, took a deep breath and he walked in the classroom without even noticing me. I swallowed hard before walking in, not looking in Zayn's direction and sitting down on my seat next to Emily's.

[End of Flashback]

I looked in my reflection, in my own eyes, trying to figure out who I am, and why the things went out like this. Why is my name Demi? Why do I live here? Why am I still a virgin? Why am I not smoking? Why am I this tall? Why am I like I am? Can someone answer me these questions? Cause I can't...

[Flashback]

The day went by and well, Zayn didn't even think about noticing me. We were waiting for our teacher to arrive as suddenly I felt someone throwing a paper ball at me. I rolled my eyes and turned around and to look at three stupid boys, ignoring the fourth one - Zayn. 'Who was that?' I said annoyed but none of them said something. I sighed and turned back around, of course they didn't stop. But what can I do? When I felt a paper ball hitting my head I turned mad around. 'FUCKING STOP IT!' I said loud, but they just laughed. I sat to them and asked who it was, but they talked just bullshit, 'Why can't you just make fun of him?' I sad pointing to Alex. They shook their head. I sighed, stupid boys. 'Why don't you make fun of Zayn, Demi?' Lucas asked. Why would he ask me that? I looked at Zayn, still mad because he was ignoring me the whole day now. 'I don't make fun of idiots.' I said straight. Zayn looked at me and said; 'If you weren't a girl I would have hit you.'

[End of Flashback]

Was it okay to say what I said? Am I just a stupid girl? A cheeky girl? A disrespectful girl? An arrogant girl? Just because I defend myself? Just because I don't let them make fun of me? Won't let them do whatever they want with me? Just because that?

[Flashback]

The boys - including Zayn - kept making fun of me, my name, my body, my everything. I did my hardest to ignore it but how can you ignore something like this? We had now GYM and I had no lust for it but I can't change it. I have to do what my school wants me to - I need good grades. I changed my clothes with Emily and went to the rest. I hate GYM, anyway. Fate is a bitch, a stupid bitch. I got in Zayn's team, I sighed, acting like I didn't notice him being in my team. I looked around, checking who's in my class. Just the once who usually make fun of me. 'Ugh what a great team' I said quietly to myself. Zayn turned to me and said defending. 'What did you say?' I looked at him and repeated myself. Zayn looked at me wanting to start an argument with me but not this time dude. I crossed my arms over my chest and said pissed. 'Can't you just talk normal to me Zayn?' 'No.' he simply replied.

[End of Flashback]

Why can't someone just take me serious? I let my eyes close while tears kept rolling down my cheek. I don't get what I'm doing wrong. Am I really that, that stupid? That annoying? My hand slipped slowly away from the mirror falling on my side.

[Flashback]

After this school day I was just happy to get away, away from everyone. When I arrived at home I directly went to my room fell onto my bed, falling asleep.

(next morning) 

'Every time you're close I shiver, shiver, shiver...' I jumped up. Who the hell is singing?!?! I saw my phone blinking. I sighed closing my eyes and falling back onto my bed. I forgot that I changed my alarm sound from Kelly Rowland to Shawn Desman. Kelly is reminding me too much about Zayn, sorry babe but this is how it rolls I guess. I turned my phone off and got ready for school. I went mad out of the house, mad to the bus, didn't talk to my friends, looked mad at Emily, sat mad in school. Today we're passing an exam. I sighed, I did study but I'm like always not the fuck sure if I can do it.

[End of Flashback]

I shivered when I thought about the past few days. How could it end like this? My crush, being the most biggest jerk on earth? How could my Zayn turn into a big jerk?!

[Flashback]

I wrote my exam, stood up walking past Zayn giving my exam to my teacher and walking out with David - Zayn's best friend. He smiled at me, and I just walked out of school, while he probably waited for Zayn to end his exam, so they could walk home together. I walked down the street, the sun shining. I'm a summer person I love the sun. I closed my eyes for a moment, took in the fresh air, opened my eyes, smiled, turned my I-pod on maximum and walked smiling to the bus. Why I was smiling? I don't know. I just felt like smiling, maybe cause I'm starting a new chapter in my life. A chapter without Zayn? Who knows what the future holds for me.

[End of Flashback]

I opened my eyes again, looking at my reflection, this time my eyes were red and burning. I sighed wiping my tears away, walking away from the mirror, from my reflection, from myself...

"I catch myself staring at your face when you're not looking...I can't help it"

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a.das

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