Taken (editing)

Chapter 32

*Flashback*

"Liam can you please come over tonight?" I say, my voice trembling.

"Is everything okay?" He asks and I can sense the fear in his voice.

"Yeah, I need to tell you something"

"Yeah, okay. I'll be right there" He says and I take a deep breath as I put my phone in my pocket.

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"You think you had a chance with him? Seriously? WIth that fat ass face of yours?"

I walk towards the bathroom, trying my best not to think about the events that happened earlier today. I walk towards the sink, splashing cold water on my face as I look up at the mirror and gasp. Who is this girl standing here? Her lips are swollen and there are red marks on her face. Her eyes are swollen and puffy from all that crying. Is this really me?

"You're such a bitch"

Stop thinking about it Jess, Stop thinking about it.

"You're such a fucking liar"

I want to cry, I want to cry my heart out, because literally, that's the only thing left for me to do. They make me feel worthless. They call me disgusting, fat and stupid. They hate me. Everyone hates me. But why? What have I done to them? What have I done to deserve this?

"Whore"

I deeply frown as I press my palms to my forehead, in an attempt to stop thinking thinking about it. I try to ignore the hurtful words replaying again and again in my mind but I sigh in defeat as I let a single tear fall down my cheek. Nobody cares for me, everyone hates me. I feel my knees getting weaker as I cover my brown eyes with my eyelids, letting a few tears escape. I feel the burn in my eyes as hot, salty tears stream down my face and I open my eyes, looking at the girl standing in the mirror. Her face is red and her eyes are red, a burning red. 

"Bitch"

"Whore"

I walk towards the cabinet, opening it. My vision is cloudy as I feel the hot tears streaming down my face. I am unable to control my tears as those hurtful words engulf me. Bitch. Whore. Liar. Fat. Worthless. Disgusting.

The hurtful words replay again and again in my mind as I place my throbbing head against the cabinet door. My headache gets worse by the second, as I feel myself getting weaker and weaker. I reach out to get the box of tablets but my eyes dart to a shiny metal object kept in the corner.

Stupid. Fat. Worthless. Slut. Loser.

My hand diverts towards the metal object as I look at it. I examine the shiny sharp blade as the hurtful words replay again and again in my mind.

"You fucking bitch"

"You're such a slut"

"Whore"

"Pathetic Loser"

I'm a fucking bitch, aren't I? I'm pathetic. I'm a loser. I'm stupid, dumb, fat and disgusting. A disgusting little piece of shit that no one gives a fuck about. My thoughts are interrupted as I feel a sharp sting of pain and the blood drips down to the floor. I bite my lip to stop myself from crying aloud as my knees give way and I fall down to the floor. 

"I'm a bitch..." My voice trembles, barely coming out as a whisper as the sharp blade makes another red mark on my skin. "I'm dumb, disgusting, stupid..." I say, adding another mark to the freshly cut skin. I want to cry, cry at the pain, cry at myself, cry at the state to which I have been reduced to, but I'm surprised as no tears come out. "I'm a fucking disgusting ugly piece of shit" I say, adding another red mark. I stare at the red marks cluttered on my wrist. It wasn't paining any more. The pain was gone. It had vanished, just like that.